Anniversary Special Part 2: Good Afternoon, Buon Giorno

I first knew about Buon Giorno when my boss' wife treated us engineers for a dinner on her birthday last September. I instantly fell in love  with the place the moment I set foot on it. The lighting, the lasdsacaped garden, trees and plants, the weather, and the serenity of the place was just so romantic. It also is perfectly situated on a cliff with a great view of the Taal Lake but since it was night time, we only saw flickering lights coming from fishing boats in the lake, adding a bit of a feel of mystery. Oh, they serve great Italian dishes too!

I made a mental note of taking RT there for a date in the future which, turned out to be the day of our anniversary celebration.

Fast forward three months and we are doing an 80 kmph on SLEX going to Tagaytay but contrary to my plan months ago, we'll be having a lunch date. It was a letdown that RT won't experience the romantic ambiance that only happens at night but I decided that it would be breathtaking for him, and for me too, to have lunch in front of a great view of the lake. Besides, we could always come back and have a dinner date there in the future, but for the time being, a lunch date is what's gonna work.

Buon Giorno is located inside Cliffhouse, a retail complex located along the Tagaytay ridge. It's is easily missed (which happened to us) since it only has a small sign and a gate covered with plants. You'll have more luck if you just look for the Yellow Cab sign, Cliffhouse is just next to it.

We dined al fresco and picked the best table with the best view of the lake from the restaurant. Well, it was a little off the restaurant's boundaries, near the viewing deck with all those noisy tourists wanting to get a pic for their Face Book profiles, which is the the only place where plants and trees won't get in our way of the lake's view. 

It was sunny when we got there and with the roof covering only half the table, one of us was bound to get toasted but RT was sweet enough to volunteer to take the "sunny" side and let me sit on the covered part (*blush*). It wasn't that all hot (well, just a little) and he insisted he needed the sunlight so I didn't put up a fight there haha! It was good that the clouds came down when we were about to order otherwise I'd feel bad for letting RT roast.

RT's pick: Ripe Mango Shake, P120

They do not scrimp on their mango shake and serve it in big, tall drinking glasses which gave RT a big smile. It was definitely what his money's worth :D

My pick: Tarragon Tea, P54 

My favorite tea of all! Sweet and aromatic! I call tarragon a super herb because of its various health benefits from insomnia to toothaches!

On the House: Freshly Baked Focaccia Bread

Since all dishes are only cooked when ordered, they give these out for free so we could munch on something while waiting to be served. Oh, that mixture over there that looks like instant pancit canton seasoning (as a friend calls it) is a combination of balsamic vinegar, olive oil and parmesan cheese... something that I picked from my boss' wife.

 

RT's pick: Prosciutto a Funghi, P265

Now, doesn't that photo look like something from a print ad? As their menu says, it's got "deep flavors of ham, mushrooms and oregano" which RT and I both agree! The serving was too much for the two of us (yes, there is a thing as too much serving for me :D) that we could only finish half the pizza. We had the other half wrapped for take out for our meryenda later but with the abundance of food on our next destination, we only had the chance, and space in our tummies, to eat it when we returned home. We were surprised it didn't get spoiled. :D

 

My pick: Pescatore alla Puttanesca, P308

An assortment of seafood on spicy and peppery tomato sauce. Seafood... peppery.. spicy. Now, this dish is definitely made for me! It doesn't look much on the photo but the serving was big enough for RT and I to share.

It was tough finishing our meals and getting off of our seats because with the cold winds blowing in our faces, the breathtaking view of the Taal Lake/Volcano and the serenity of the place, we could stay there the whole day and just relax and be at a peaceful state of mind.

On our way out, I grabbed some lychee flavored  frozen yogurt form Fling Frozen Yougurt just to know what all the rave is all about with froyos. It turned out, it is just what it is. A frozen yogurt, which is too overpriced by the way, P85. There is another dessert shop inside Cliffhouse which a  took a mental note to try next time, Fruits in Ice Cream.

Next stop, Sonya's Secret Garden!

**How to get to Cliffhouse? From the Tagaytay Rotonda, turn right and just watch for this sign along the main highway. Once you get past the Antonio's grill, Mile hi Diner, Carlos Pizza, etc., this is along the same row of restaurants before you reach the fork road of Petron Station. Remember, lookout for the Yellow Cab sign. Also, there's a 10% SC on all dishes.

Anniversary Special Part 1: Into the Clouds

As our anniversary celebration, RT and I decided to make it special by spending the weekends in Tagaytay. Its weather and ambiance are great for a romantic getaway. Not to mention that it's the nearest escape from the hassles and bustles of the cities below it. We've been planning this for the past month and we already did a lot of research on places to be and restaurants to eat in. Before the went, there was a deliberation on wether to commute or take RT's car and I'm glad using public tranports was ruled out  since we'll be making a lot of stops during this trip and it will be a total killjoy if we have to walk certain distances just to get to where we want to be.

With the budget and time limitations, these were our weekend itineraries:


Lunch at Buon Giorno

Dinner at Sonya's Secret Garden

Breakfast at Sonya's Secret Garden

Lunch at Bawai's Vietnamese Kusina

On This Day

"Hindi pa bukas celebrate. Pag totally free ka na saka tayo tutuloy. Hehe. Basta isipin mo muna exam mo. Parang double celebration na rin after ng exam mo. :)"

Message details:                                              
From: PEx Kapitan <+639XXXXXXXXX>
Date: 11-19-2009
Time: 8:15 pm
Type: Text message

That was his reply after I greeted him a happy birthday in advance and expressed my apology since I won't be able to make it to his celebration. It was sadly my board exam date :( but it really surprised me that he would work around my schedule just so I could be there. I felt special but I was totally oblivious to what that gesture truly meant.

For the past months we've been getting closer through constant exchange of texts and playing Grand Chase so I thought it was just that. That I have been chosen as one of the few who would be his good friends. It was an honor. I mean, what else could it be? He was a total head turner and I'm just ordinary so any romantic thoughts, I just brush off.

We continued to become closer until the day of the big confession. Every thing that we shared flashed right before my eyes. The moving of the celebration, the sharing of secrets, dreams and ideas, the unwavering attention, the constant text messages. All those times I thought those were just because of the close friendship we shared. I was wrong. It was more than that. It was a chance at love.

It took half an hour to process what his message said. Reading it carefully and over again. I might've misread a keyword that could change the meaning of the whole message. Carefully. Over again. But it was what it was. Every word, every phrase and paragraph are well thought of and unussually long for a normal SMS. The message was clear.

He likes me.

It was something that totally came out of the left field. Unexpected. Something that no one would've thought of, except him. An hour have passed and my mind was still blank. How could someone who's got a great number of admirers want someone who thinks there's no way he's ever getting a chance to be with him romantically? It was really a no brainer. He's hot and I'm not. But why was the situation draining all my brain juices in explaining what's happening? Things like those only happen in movies.... or so I thought.

Mr. Personality. He gave me that nickname and made it my e-mail's password when I temporarily gave the account to him so that I won't be tempted to stray from my review. That was it! He was not after anyone's looks. It was their personalities that draw him in and I have a great personality. Atleast great enough for him to notice me and look beyond my imperfections. It was what genuinely attracted me to him, besides being really trustworthy and caring to his friends.

Romantic possibilities rushed in. Too risky. We were having a really good friendship and romance could jeopardize it. We may even end up being bitter with each other when things don't work out. But we didn't let our fears get the best of what we could be. It was all about taking chances and how it's really just about overcoming our fears. We decided we didn't want to live our lives with what-ifs and what-could-have-beens because the truth was, no matter how it could've ended up, we'll always be glad we took it.

So one year ago, on this day we took a chance at love and decided to become a couple. It wasn't an easy ride, but what relationship isn't? I could look back, think about all the problems we encountered, the misunderstandings, the fights and say that those were worth all the love, experiences, lessons and the place that our relationship is right now. 

I'm glad I took the chance.



**People spend a lifetime looking for love, wanting it, needing it, seeking it, and most of the time they don't find it. 

But once in a great while, it comes to you, it throws itself in your lap, pounds on your door and says, "Here I am. Take me. I'm yours."

When it comes, how can you turn away from it? How can you say, "Not now. Maybe later?" How can you not take that chance, knowing the opportunity may never come again?**

-Danielle Steel

Anniversary Special

"In the Clouds"

"Good Morning"

"Secret Garden"

"Grand Mother"

Office Hour

It's raining.

I always feel secretly happy when it rains. Especially during office hours. Raining means staying in the office. And staying in the office means there's (almost)nothing to do for us engineers. 90% of our job is on site.

Yeah, sometimes the "lazy" gets the better of me. But not too lazy to write something though. Or am i just finding something to do to appear doing something? The HR has been checking up on me lately. Questioning my hanging in the office longer than my fellow engineers who are always out.
Of course being out means working... for her. But there's really not much to do out there, au contraire.
A few hours of supervision every now and then is fine. That is why there are foremen for full time supervisions.

Mostly, for the lack of something to do on site, the other engineers tend to do window painting, pastering, stuffs that workers do. But thinking about it more, they're just really making sure the company isn't wasting money on them. Being useful.

So i'm not being useful. But who can blame me? It's too hot outside. I have to walk hundreds of meters to get to site (and do roving inspections for a 5 hectare property)  whereas they have their own company issued motorbikes.Ugh to seniority. They have everything. They are well respected, well recognized and well trusted.
Haha! That really sounded too ambitious (and envious) coming from a cadet engineer who's only been on the job for three months. It's not really a rant. Just some realizations. Not a judgment. Just an observation.

Surveillance cameras! I just remembered the company had some installed here in the office. Are they in operation? It'd surely feel weird. Being watched. It's.... like Big Brother! That could actually force me to go and roast myself outside. But I haven't heard anything yet. Maybe not. 'Cause the office would be well behaved then. Yes, things can get rowdy(in a good way) in here. Or are they deliberately concealing that information from us? Does the HR know? Maybe she does. She's the one in charge in making sure we do our pieces of work after all. But do the bosses know? 'Cause they kind of start the "kulitan" sometimes.
Ooohh.. an office conspiracy theory!!



How long have been I writing? 30 minutes? Does the boss notice? Thank god I'm at the left end of the row. Four tables away from him. And the CPU cleverly placed at the right side of my monitor to block their view. I should open some excel files now in case he comes near me. It's easy to quickly switch tabs. It's also good our HR's out in the main office. Aside from always being snarky at me, she does a good job surveying my work station and figuring out what i'm at.

Oh, the boss has started playing Call of Duty! Yay! It's safe to do non work related things now. See? There's really not much to do this afternoon.

October 8, 2010 3:42PM

note: this is not my work station

Do You Hate Me 'Cause I'm Pieces of You?

SELLING OVER 11 MILLION COPIES!, this album explains life at the best! Definitely a moving and in depth album.

Jewel stands back and takes a look at what we are doing wrong and the positive things we can change it with. The production on this CD isn't top-notch. Many of the songs were recorded live, giving them a rougher feel than you'd expect. Having said that, I think it is that imperfectness that makes this such an enjoyable album. Some of the music made today are too glossy for its own good and most artists go all over the stage dancing and the women throwing out their private parts, then along with the autotuning of their voices it doesn't sound good and pure. I like all of Jewel's songs really. It's nice to hear music that sounds like the artist is playing right there in front of you rather than making it sound perfect in the studio.

"Pieces of You" may be one of Jewel's best. It shows her versatility and showcases her poetic songwriting and great guitar work. She's brutally honest and morose and real, and it definitely showed that she had some amazing skill.   

My favorite from the album is the carrier single "Pieces of You". The lyrics are so simple ,yet if you think about it, are compelling. Its about how we judge people on how they look or what they do and how in the end they are not that different from us. We're all equal and have a piece of everyone inside of us, and it's true that when you find yourself hating on someone or disrespecting them over something, if you just stop and reflect, it turns out that the things you are angry about are the things you are hiding from yourself... things that you are or do that you wish you weren't or didn't do.

 

She's an ugly girl, does it make you want to kill her?

She's an ugly girl, do you want to kick in her face?

She's an ugly girl, she doesn't pose a threat.

She's an ugly girl, does she make you feel safe?

Ugly girl, ugly girl, do you hate her

'Cause she's pieces of you?

She's a pretty girl, does she make you think nasty thoughts?

She's a pretty girl, do you want to tie her down?

She's a pretty girl, do you call her a bitch?

She's a pretty girl, did she sleep with your whole town?

Pretty girl, pretty girl, do you hate her

'Cause she's pieces of you?

You say he's a faggot, does it make you want to hurt him?

You say he's a faggot, do you want to bash in his brain?

You say he's a faggot, does he make you sick to our stomach?

You say he's a faggot, are you afraid you're just the same?

Faggot, Faggot, do you hate him

'Cause he's pieces of you?

You say he's a Jew, does it mean that he's tight?

You say he's a Jew, do you want to hurt his kids tonight?

You say he's a Jew, he'll never wear that funny hat again.

You say he's a Jew, as though being born were a sin.

Oh Jew, oh Jew, do you hate him

'Cause he's pieces of you?

Don't Wanna Be a Billionaire

I knew it was just a matter of time until I inherit my aunt's burdens from some relatives in the province.

I just got a call from my Uncle, his wife and Lolo asking for some "financial assistance".

Uncle asked me to help him find a job here at my current work since he just allegedly lost his job because some NPAs thrashed and burned their work transportation. I don't know what his job is but I'm pretty sure they'll find a way to get to work sooner or later. I just didn't like the way he was talking about the probability of his children stopping school like it was my responsibility. That It was my duty to help them. And even if I did want to help him, I can't. I've just barely started my job and being one of those who do the payroll, bringing in a relative is a conflict of interest.

the facts are these:

Uncle is the only guy from my grandparents' brood. He's spoiled. He's lazy. He's got half a dozen kids! He's been given a lot of job opportunities, capital for a business but it all went to nothing. And that's me not being judgmental.

 
Lolo on the other hand asked me some money for his meds. Yep! That's legit. Something that I can't argue about but..

the facts are these:

Although Lolo got a valid reason to ask for money, there were events when he really was just asking for Uncle-his-spoiled-only-son. It's not that I won't give him anything even though I'm suspecting that, I just don't have the capacity to help every one of them right now. And by "every one of them" I mean only him. Uncle (and any other relatives) will just have to figure things for himself and his family.

It's hard being the eldest. eldest son. eldest grand son. eldest nephew. It's hard to be the only one among the 3rd generation  (from my grand parents) to actually have work. Every one just tend to look up to you. Turn to you for help. But I ain't a billionaire. And I honestly don't wanna be one if that means people around me would just slack off (of course with the exception of my mom, siblings and Lolo).

The Affair

I know that Sid Lucero is making a Cinemalaya movie called "Muli" a few months back (according to his tweets, yeah, I follow him) but I never knew that it was a gay movie until it created some buzz during its stint in the event, and apparently in UP theaters afterwards. Had I known what the premise of the film was, I would've stormed the CCP on its opening! LOL!

Anyways, I read somewhere that it's getting a big screen release without cuts (yay!) via some gay friendly cinemas (Robinsons, etc?) but there's no way I'm watching it there (go figure)! I'll just wait for the DVD release.(hello, discreet gay here)

So in the mean time, here's what I've gathered around the net about "the best gay film in recent years".

disclaimer: photos (rddantes.com) , comments and reviews are not mine, credit to the owners

Muli (The Affair) is a film based on Jerry Gracio's Palanca-winning screenplay, the film chronicles the spanning love story between an underground activist/inn keeper (Lucero) and a lawyer (Domingo) in Baguio City whose complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the ultimate power of love.

 "Muli" registers the resonance of being the first pilipino gay movie that genuinely delivers the remarkable positive ending on love and life!

Several accomplishments set the film apart:

A strategic, substantial and crafted cinematography that reinforces, rather than overpowers the message intent.

A refreshing slew of superb actors proficiently guided by the master of the film.

Despite the period portrayal of condemnations, tribulations and human weaknesses, the film courageously refused to fall into the trappings of unnecessary age old pilipino gay theme exploitations or succumb to the follies of doom and passe (much like the confusion and weary excesses of a joel lamangan or a mel chionglo).

For once, my ears did not bleed from score overkill (as the general case in most, if not all, pilipino movies when they insanely drag a scene).

The film manages to remain driven on the older, wiser processes of the two lead characters and their journeys towards loving, bearing, losing, hiding and hoping. These stages are darn heavy yet interestingly, the film floats effortlessly with grace and quiet discipline.

Most noteworthy is how the screenplay managed to balance an otherwise leaning towards contrite certainty. The critically significant character of a son who, during his child years had been neglected by his father, ended up as the very same soul who managed to embrace, accept and liberate his father’s desire for a secret love and earnest choice of life, once again.

Sid Lucero proved to me with this movie, that he is the best young actor working. He was beyond perfection in "Selda" and with "Muli", words can not describe how superb he was. It was like everything that he bottled up in "Selda" exploded in "Muli" and it was tugging and devastating. The longing and desperation to be with the one you love, the emotion was strongly conveyed, it stings, and pierces deep.

And the year may not be over, but for me hands down, Sid Lucero gives the best acting performance of the year. As for the movie, it is the best movie I have seen so far this year, and the year, finally started.

"Muli" stand firmly as the best gay-themed movie ever put to screen in the Philippines

 The photos alone make me very much interested!

Kari-gurashi no Arietti

Karigurashi no Arrietty aka Arrietty Borrows Everything in English is an adaptation of Mary Norton's fantasy classic "The Borrowers." The new feature film will be directed by studio animator Hiromasa Yonebayashi under the supervision of Ghibli maestro Hayao Miyazaki. The film hit Japanese theaters just recently (July 17, 2010) which means we probably won't get to see this until next year. :(

First published in 1952, "The Borrowers" centers on a family of little people who live by "borrowing" from normal-sized humans. However, unlike the original novel, which is set in 1950's England, Karigurashi no Arrietty will be set in Tokyo Koganei in 2010 and will tell the story of 14-year-old little Arrietty.

As always, I can't wait for every new Studio Ghibli film and I'm already excited about this one (the Japanese version with english subs and not those Disney dubbed!), even though Miyazaki's not directing it.

Ituloy Mo Lang

Wow! A great song for all the gay peeps out there coming from no less than the rock band Siakol!

The lyrics have a couple of lines with gay stereotypes but, hey, I like the message.

A big one for SIAKOL!

Let's show our support and gratitude by buying their latest studio album "Tropa" (2010)

ITULOY LANG NATIN!

Pusong Mamon

Hindi mahirap ang magbilad sa init araw araw,

hindi mahirap ang mag compute ng estimates,

hindi mahirap ang makipag usap sa mga masusungit at demanding na home owners at buyers,

hindi mahirap ang libutin ang 55 hectares na subdivision ng naglalakad lang...

ang mahirap sa trabaho ko ngayon ay ang kilatisin at presyohan ang mga contractor namin sa site.

Nahihirapan ako na sabihan sila na

"Talagang ganyan ang presyo nyan."

"Naka-hold ang billing nyo dahil hindi nyo natapos ang gawa."

"Wala kayong billing ngayon. Next week pa."

Mahirap sabihan ng ganun ang mga taong araw araw mong nakikita sa site na nagbabanat ng buto.

Mahirap silang tingnan sa mata habang nagmamakaawa at nagpapaliwanag ng side nila pero
wala naman akong magawa dahil may mga patakaran talaga sa kumpanya...

haizt!

>_<

Art Attack 2

some random made up character in water color

rough sketches

well what do you know? I draw real people!

This one's from reader's digest.

A "Golden Dragon", character from my lost comic book >_<

pencilled

The Golden Dragon Clan, yes, they have human forms.

just playing with the colors.. supposed characters for a comic book story

Vash The Stampede (unfinished.. until now hehe)

Art Attack 1

After months of hiatus, still too lazy to write something up. I'm posting some of my surviving sketches from highschool. I don't know if I've gotten better since then and I honestly think that my hands are getting rusty. Anyways, hope you guys like it. ^_^

" Hisoka" from Hunter X Hunter (got the spelling wrong LOL)

"Ginji" from GetBackers (forgot the villain's name)

MajinBoo!!!!

aaaaaw.. I miss the Ghost Fighter guys!

"Kurapika" from Hunter X Hunter (ooops! his head is too small!)

Cheri: "Tanggalin ang sumpa kay Zenki! Tatanggalin ka ng lihim na espada! SUMPA! Dakilang Vadjula, palayain mo ang alagad na si Zenki! Dakilang Vadjula, palayain mo ang alagad na si Zenki!

My version of "Diwa" (from the now defunct Culture Crash Comics' One Day Isang Diwa)

Loner

Your problem isn't that you make bad choices. It is you identify the good choices and then intentionally do the opposite.

You see, in this boorish bravado of yours is a paralyzing fear of letting anyone into your life.. and it isn't because you weren't loved as a kid. It's because you're egocentric that the love
wasn't enough.

So you pull pigtails, you push the fat kids into the dirt so no one would ignore little you. And you're so invested in this neurotic, narcissistic notion of yourself as loner that you can't quit.

And you'll keep on dumping on everyone around you until eventually, and please trust me on this, there won't be anyone left..

Wonderfalls (2004)

Jaye Tyler is your not-so-average girl next door. She holds a degree from Brown University, but instead decided to work at a souvenir shop at picturesque Niagara Falls. Her reason? She wanted to live an expectation-free life. She's rude to the customers, a total bitch to her lesbian sister and frowns at everything good about the world, and yet, she's the most likable character you'll ever meet. Her 'sodes started when inanimate objects started talking to her, telling her in cryptic messages to do spontaneous things without a reason. She has no choice but do as they say or they'll bug the hell out of her by singing her ears off.

One simple act will lead to a series events that at the end makes sense to her and the person she's unknowingly helped.


This show had the rare combination of great writing, acting and directing. This is evident by the great on screen chemistry. Watch just one episode and I guarantee you'll be hooked and wanting more.

I have not laughed so hard at a TV show in weeks. Especially since I didn't expect this to be a comedy.

The dialogue is hysterical. As I'm typing, I'm rewatching the pilot. Discussing Jaye's suddenly odd behavior, her sister suggests "I think we should put her down." Her brother agrees "It is just like going to sleep."

Or when she notices the bartender's cell phone is ringing in his back pocket---

Jaye: "Your ass is ringing."
Bartender: "My ass rings a lot."
Jaye: "Have you ever thought of setting it on vibrate?
Bartender: "I'm not sure I'm secure enough with my manhood to do that."
Jaye: "So, why do you have an ass if you don't answer it?"


"Wonderfalls" may be the best show you've never seen. I will never forget it. And simply hearing a description won't do it justice. It is a delightful, candy coated television treat. An authentic expression of generation-Y looking for its place in the world and not ready when it finds them. "Wonderfalls" is another triumph for the ingeniously creative Bryan Fuller (which just may be the most talented and most unlucky writer in the business today), who seems to be the only person in the world trying to put a spark in TV. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

the second reason why this is one of my favorite series

How Do You Cook A Live Frog?

If you throw the live frog into a pan of boiling water the frog will hop right out, however, if you put the frog into a nice tepid pan of water and ever so slowly turn up the heat, the frog will cook before he realizes what has happened.

When most people enter a relationship, it does not appear to be toxic and often times it isn’t toxic. During the honeymoon period of a relationship, for the most part everyone plays nicely together, they even participate in each other’s events of life that they normally would have no interest or desire to be part of, however they do it for the other person. During this time, there is a newness of discovery, romantic love is in the air and we even tend to overlook or brush off what otherwise would be red flags that there could be problems with this becoming a long term loving, positive relationship. We tend to see and believe what we want to see about the other person and our relationship. Some people even consciously act differently, wear a mask of sorts, knowing that once they have the other person hooked they will slowly reveal their true self.

Most toxic relationships start out great, everything on the surface seems great, however as time passes, like the cooking of the live frog, the heat begins to be slowly turned up and things change from what appeared to be a mutually loving, positive relationship to a toxic relationship where over time one or both parties are choking on the daily toxicity of their relationship. Yet, people, even when they realize that they are in a toxic relationship often stay in the relationship and hang on for years.

There are many reasons people stay in a toxic relationship, one is that they are comfortable in their own misery, that is, yes the relationship is toxic, however I am used to it and I just don’t think I have the energy to get out of this relationship and start a new one. Another big reason is the person who wants out of the toxic relationship may have been beat down to the point where they feel that the toxic relationship is their fault or that they would not be desirable by anyone else.

I can tell you from experience why it’s so hard to leave a relationship that we have allowed to go toxic:

Leaving a toxic relationship means we are faced with ourselves, and nobody else to blame our unhappiness on. And we’re faced with the reality that only we can, and have to, solve our own problems. That’s a heavy burden. We got used to feeling secure that there will always be a someone that could carry it with us and sometimes, It’s a whole lot easier to dump our problems on someone else. Toxic relationships allow us to do that as long as we want. When we have toxic relationships with others, it means we have a toxic relationship with ourselves.

Comfort zones are also big factors. They tend to keep us in miserable relationships, since even though it might be miserable, we know how to deal with it and live with it. Change represents the great unknown for a lot of us. So I simply say:

That the unknown and unknowable are two different things.

Let me just say that you can love someone and still choose not to be with them. I hear many people say, “I stay because I because I love him/her”. If the relationship is toxic and therefore unhealthy and you cannot find away to remove the toxicity from the relationship, know that you can still love a person and make a decision to not be with them. Know that you always have options, that no one is truly stuck. Even in the darkest of hours, there are always alternatives.

If its your own situation that doesn’t seem to be working or enabling you to feel as you would like, then this is a step in your own self-growth. Do what feels right. Change something. It begins with your thoughts about what is acceptable for yourself. When you’re ready to evolve, you will. Other people will do so too.

For some, however, getting out of that toxic relationship is a shock to their system and often harder to deal with than the hell they left. That’s where they really need support. Because once they’re out of the boiling water, the realization of what they had put up with can become so overwhelming, they can beat themselves up a lot harder than the toxic individual who they had left used to do.

So if you know anyone who’s severed that kind of relationship and you think all’s wonderful in their world, stay close and supportive, not advice giving. Just be there and help them see their greatness so they can start to fly.

source: The Naked Soul

The Breakup Ground Rules

I, Blakrabit, do, hereby, solemnly swear that I will not behave in the manner of a crazy ex-boyfriend. I will not participate in foolish or destructive behavior. I promise to act in a dignified fashion and that means I will not do stupid things, no matter how I might rationalize them. Therefore, I vow the following:

• I will not call him. No matter what good or bad news I think he should hear only from me, I will not call him. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him. I will not call him even to get my stuff. I'll have a friend do that, preferably via email.

• I will not email him. Not even an innocent and rather funny group email forward. I will not email him simply to give him back his stuff. I will not contact him at all.

• I will not frequent the places I know he goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I acknowledge that this is not a pissing contest about territory. I know going to such places will hurt more than it will help. Until there has been some space and time between us, going to those places is asinine, can be viewed as stalker-ish and will be painful only to me.

• I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to him when they see him in public to let him know he is a jerk and he'll never do better than me, or to share that I am looking fabulous, got a promotion, bought a new house and am dating George Clooney (or the regional equivalent thereof).

• I will screen all of my calls. I will get caller ID, if necessary, and put "private call block" on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is and am sure it's not him. All other calls will go to voicemail.

• I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.

• I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.

• I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.

I promise to abide by these vows for at least thirty (30) days, or until I have gotten over him, whichever is longer. This is about me feeling better and that has nothing to do with him.

This I do affirm. So help me.

Signed: Blakrabit
Date: June 7, 2009

Last Words for an Ex

Ewan ko kung dahil sa ulan to pero sobrang miss na kita... Parang kelan lang nung bumagyo at first eb natin.. brownout at daming puno sa daanan..

Sorry nga pala sa mga inasal ko recently, i guess I'm just not good in handling the situation.. Nauntog talaga ako dun, pero nung natauhan nako, too late na.

Pero I sincerely wanted to change for the better.. I know madami ako kasalanan at hindi ako showy sa feelings ko for you..

I just want you to know that despite my bad behaviour, I loved you more than anyone in my life, ikaw lang. I guess tama nga yung kasabihan na "we always hurt the pnes we love"..

Please don't get me wrong, hindi ako nagtext para pilitin kang makipagbalikan sakin. Clearly, kitang kita ko naman kung sino na ang mas matimbang sa puso mo. I just want to do my end of the bargain 'coz you've been very good to me..

Pero yung tungkol sa friendship natin, I'm afraid I can't give you that. I'm sorry if I can' be mature about it pero masakit lang talaga sobra..

I know you deserve better. Siguro tapos na yung chance at sinayang ko lang ang pagkakataon na yun, again, sorry.. Maybe it's time for someone to give it a try..

Magpapalit na nga pala ako ng number, I know it's selfish pero yun lang yung naisip kong paraan para edyo mabawasan yung sakit..

I can't wish you and your new giy a goodluck in your relationship, i know ang selfish ko no?, pero ang masasabi ko lang ay salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal na binigay mo sakin kahit I didn't deserve most of them and I'll always remember you..


This is B, signing off out of your life
Goodbye

The Reviewer: Nissin Cup Noodles (Seafood) 60g

I was deep in a writing mood doing a blog post but then Procrastinus attacked and I couldn't write what's on my mind the way I'm imagining it correctly anymore so I figured that I could just write a food review down. Why instant noodles? Because I could practically live on the stuff! Best. Invention. Ever!

Noodles: 5/5
Nissin noodles have always tasted great and even though it's not as good as the Japanese ones, the local variants are still packed with flovors

Soup: 3.5/5
Tastes great but MSG scratched 1.5 points off.

Toppings: 3/5
The toppings have always been what our every local noodles lack. Such a downer compared to topping-filled cup noodles from Japan.

Price: 5/5
At P20, when bought is supermarkets, this one gives you your money's worth. 3 minute cooking alone is worth all the centavos!

Trip

For the lack of something to write, here's a video I took which shows my trip from the review center to my dorm and a side trip to the super market for my lunch :D oh and this is stalker proof

warning: very amateur, wobbly and poor shots

BEYNTE SINGKO (11-20)

ONSE

2nd year highschool ako nang matutong mag commute. Maliban sa pagsakay ng tricycle mula bahay papuntang school, hindi ko na alam kung pano sumakay sa jeep/bus/etc . Hindi kasi ako pinapayahan ng nanay ko dahil baka mawala daw ako o di kaya maaksidente sa pagtawid. Kinailangan ko lang matuto bumiyahe mag-isa dahil sa paglipat ko sa bahay ng aking tatay.

DOSE

Nung bata ako, nagnakaw ako ng laruan sa dept. store. yung mga free toy sa hotdog na kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay yung Spiderman na may parachute hehehehe

TRESE

Naka weewee ako sa pants noong grade 1 ako. Ang terror kasi nung matandang dalagang teacher namin kaya natakot akong mag may-i-go-out. Ewan ko kung napansin nung seatmate ko.

KATORSE

Grade 3 naman ako nung tinuli. Grabeng iyak ko nun at tingin ko napa squirt ako ng weewee haha!

KINSE

Nung elementary dinadaya ko si Manong na nagpapalabunutan ng mga sisiw sa tapat ng school. Yun yung pipili ka ng blangkong papel at huhulaan kung anong lalabas na number. Ginagawa ko, bumibili ako ng papel tapos iuuwi ko sa bahay at saka babasain para makita ang hidden number tapos papatuyuin naman ulit. Kinabukasan kunwari bibili ng papel pero i-si-switch ko yung isa. voila! instant panalo! hehehehe

DISE-SAIS

Binansagan akong Jack of all Trades noong highschool. Kasi sa lahat ng subjects may alam ako. Idagdag pa ang extra curricular activities gaya drawing, journalism, badminton at pagiging class artist ko. Kaya lang ang totoo nyan ay ako ay Jack of all Trades but Master of None kasi most of the time kabilang lang ako sa top pero hindi mismong yung nasa Top1 huhuhuhu

DISE-SIYETE

May time na nilakad ko mula Central Terminal Station ng LRT hanggang Libertad. Walang dahilan, trip lang. Pero hanggang kinabukasan masakit pa din mga paa ko.

DISE-OTSO

Ang aking stepmom ang pinaka kinamumuhian kong nilalang. Masungit, manipulative, madada,plastik. Pero noon yun. Ngayon medyo ayos naman na ang tingin ko sa kanya kasi through the years ay nakita ko din naman kung ano ang mga nangyayari sa paligid kaya medyo naiintindihan ko kung bakit sya ganun.

DISE-NUWEBE

Gusto kong malaman kung ano na ba ang nangyari dun sa kapit bahay namin dati. Hindi ko na maalala kung teenager na ba sya noon basta ang alam ko wala pa kong muwang noong mga panahong iyon. Naalala ko lang na mahilig siyang magpakita ng birdie nya sa ibang mga bata sa lugar namin at nanghahabol ba sa gitna ng kalsada at hindi ko din alam kung may toyo ba yun o sadyang ganun ang trip nya. Gusto ko lang malaman kung naging straight ba sya paglaki nya o PLU at ano kaya naging epekto dun sa mga batang lagi nyang pinapakitaan ng birdie nya? naging mga PLU ba sila?

BEYNTE

Chickee. S'ya yung alaga kong manok nung bata pa ako. Napanalunan ko sya kay Manong. Inalagaan, pinakain at minahal hanggang mag fade ang green na artificial color nya at mapalitan ng mapuputing balahibo. Pero isang madilim na gabi, pag-uwi ko ng bahay, hindi ko marinig ang kaluskos ni Chickee sa kanyang kulungan. Kinabahan ako. Dali-dali kong tinakbo mula sa pintuan, di na pinansin ang pagkahulog ng aking bag, patungo sa kinalalagyan ng kulungan ng aking mahal na alaga para lamang malamang wala na sya doon. Umiyak ako. Maaring nakawala sya o kinain ng daga o pusa. Hindi ko na maisip kung ano pang mga posibleng kinahinatnan ng alaga ko sa sobrang lungkot. Pumasok na ako sa bahay pagkatapos pulutin ang aking bag. "Ma, wala na si Chickee.", agad na sumbong ko sa nanay na sumalubong sa akin. "Wag ka na malungkot 'nak, bili na lang ulit tayo ng sisiw.", tugon nya na may pakikiramay. "Wag mo na muna isipin yun. Maghapunan ka na muna 'nak, niluto ko yung paborito mo... tinolang manok". Sabay isang malakas na hagulhol! huhuhu

BEYNTE SINGKO (1-10)

UNO

19 years old ako nang magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na makipag EB sa mga chatmates ko online at hindi din nagtagal bago sumunod ang mga SEB na yan... oo maaga akong lumanid hehehe

DOS

Isa akong illegitimate child.. ako ang unang anak pero hindi nag work-out ang relationship ng aking mga magulang kaya nauwi sa hiwalayan, yun nga lang they were never married kaya ganun. Ngayon, kapwa na sila may mga pamilya.

TRES

Naka-sex ko ang asawa ng kapatid ng step mom ko, na technically ay uncle ko. May ilang ulit ding nangyari 'yun noong sa bahay pa siya tumutuloy pero ako na mismo ang umayaw dahil medyo ka-close ko ang asawa nya. Nagkikita pa naman kami ngayon at parang wala lang nangyari, civil lang kumbaga.

KWATRO

Naranasan ko na ding mabilang sa isang foursome... pero hindi ko din kinaya at nanuod na lang ko.

SINGKO

Dalawang beses naman sa threesome. Ang unang threesome ay kasama si EX#1 at EX#2 (na noong mga panahong yun ay ang aking current SO). Sumunod naman ay sa isang couple na naghahanap ng third wheel.

SAIS

Meron akong dalawang pilat na galing sa kagat ng aso. Isa sa binti at sa kanang kamay. Naalala ko pa kung gaana kalaki ang karayom na ginamit sa injection ko for rabbies.

SIETE

Nadiskubre ko ang masturbation nuong bakasyon nang 2nd year ko sa highschool. Gawa ng sobrang libog, walang humpay kong hinimas si junior hanggang sa ako'y labasan. Take note, hindi ko alam na yun na pala ang tinatawag na ejaculation at natakot pa akong tingnan kung ano ang lumabas kasi akala ko dugo. Onga pala, may kasama nga pala akong nung gabing yun sa kwarto, babae, yung kasambahay namin dati.

OTSO

Naglakbay ako mula Manila papuntang Batangas para lang makipag EB! At siya si EX#2.

NUEBE

Nung 1st year HS, dumating sa punto na naglalakad na lang ako papuntang school. Kapos kami noon dahil sa sakit ng lola ko. Nung time na 'yun isinisi ko kay lola lahat. Nagalit ako sa kanya. Pero nung nawala na sya, sobrang hagulhol ako. Yun siguro ang pinaka matinding nagawa kong pagkakamali na hanggang ngayon pinagsisisihan ko pa :(

DIYES

Edito-in-Chief sa school publication, Journalism Contests, Poster and Slogan Making Contests, Spelling Bee, Top 10, Quarterly Honors, Science Quiz Bee, Scholarship Eligibility... yan ang mga napanalunan at mga achievements ko noong elementary at highschool... ewan ko ba kung anong nangyari sa akin ngayong college, wapak! ako huhuhuhu...


saka na muna yung iba hehehe isip-isip pa...

Master Procrastinator

THE RABBIT IS BACK!

Woah! I can't believe that the last I've been here to post was about two and a half years ago. You know those feelings you get when you just got home from a very long vacation and your house is all dusty and webby(is that even a word?)? Yep! Those happy-nostalgic-familiar feelings... I'm totally having them right now.

Actually, there have been a thousand attemps to ressurect this darkly lit blog of mine. Every new year, every birthday and every week-long vacations preceding my last posts have been full of intentions but being a Master Procrastinator, it's my duty to defer those thoughts until the need to free some space on my pending list. Although those attempts weren't all that unproductive since I've changed this blog's design template for a couple of times in an earlier resurrection attempt. I even deleted all of those naughty posts on my archive along with my very own customized template (and reverted back to the default template which I wished I haven't).

But now, here I am tapping my keyboard loudly and trying my best not to commit any grammatical and spelling errors and forcing myself to finish this comeback post.

It's very nostalgic reading all my posts from the beginning and memories just flooded my head. I've been laughing at all my crappy lines. I guess that I was as stupid back then as any teenagers.

-became the stupidest person just for the sake of someone I loved (or was infatuated with?)
-casual sex
-been obsessed with the notion that I had to have someone just to feel complete
-chat rooms, personals sites
-RPGs and Online Games
-smoking

Yeah, I guess that was basically me 2 and 1/2 years ago.

It was nice to know that in the span of that time, I did grow up to be a better me

kuliti boy

langya!! huhuhu may kuliti na naman ako!!! kainis! ano ba ang nagawa kong kasalanan? mabait naman ako ah. masunurin at mabuting estudyante.. bakeeet??

haizt kasar talaga tong kuliti na to kakahiya tuloy.. pano na lang kug makita ako ng crush ko? at hindi pa ako makapag hilamos ng maigi kasi masakit yung kaliwang mata ko...

anyways buti na lang at may nakita akong forum na may nakapost ng gamot para dito sa makulet ng kulete (hehe) na to

caught in the act

ito ang pinaka walang kwentang araw sa buong buhay ko! amp!!

bket?

kasi ngaung araw na to eh nahuli ako ng littering sa makati! ayun tuloy ma offense ticket na ako ang saya grabe tangina syet!!

ainaku kasi naman si Len eh hindi nmn ako mapapadpad sa makati kung hindi sya nagpasundo sa bahay nila para sabay kami pumasok sa skul!!!! aaargh!!!!! buong araw tuloy ako nabadtrip!

okay .. okay..

lam ko kasalanan ko..

kasi kung bakit nmn may siningit pa akong sideline ng EB bago ako pumunta sa bahay nila Len eh yan tuloy dahil sa pinag hintay ako nung ka EB ko eh napa-yosi tuloy ako! eh wala nmn sa isip ko yung no littering na yan! at ginawa ko yung palagi kong ginagawa sa upos ng yosi ko.. pinipitik ko sa malayo.. HULI ka!!!

oo na..

haay lam ko nmn na pampalubag lang ng loob yung paninisi ko eh.. pero kasar eh.. pero ako talaga may kasalanan sumaydline pa ko kahit knna pa ko hinihintay ni Len.. at lam ko.. bawal magkalat!!! at masama manigarilyo!!!
aaargh!!

ang masama lang eh, P1,000 ang fine!! eh tangina san kaya aku kukuha nung ganung halaga?! eh P500 lang yung tira ko sa allowance ko.. san ko kukunin yung isa pang P500??!!! tangina kelangan kong magfine sa loob ng tatlong araw kundi.. ewan ko.. baka magpadala sila ng letter d2 sa bahay.. okay lang sana kung littering lang talaga nakalagay dun sa tiket.. eh may nakalagay dun littering, tapos yung litter: malboro lights!! nakanampota!!! doble hamabalos ako nyan sa tatay ko!!!

huhuhuu!!!!

haizt.. ang paconsuelo ko na lang eh full force nmn yung mga kaibigan, kaklase at pati na yung syota-syotaan ko sa sitwasyon ko ngaun... hayyy pero wala nmn akong makukuhang P500 sa kanila huwaaaa!!!!

what a nice lesson to be learned..

excempted

kakapagod talaga itong mga nakaraang araw!! hayy andaming mga exams, pasahan ng requirements, assignments. grabe sobrang tuliro na ako heheh at palagi kulang tulog ko puro puyat kse sa kagagawa ng mga project.

pero ok lang.. atleast nagbunga n yung paghihirap ko.. excempted aku dun sa final exam ko dun sa Contracts.. tsk!! ang galeng ko talaga! hmm.. dahil dyan bibigyan ko ang saril ko ng 2 stars! ah nde, 5 stars na dahil sa sobrang galeng ko!! nyahahahahha!!!

1 down, 4 more to go!!! wish me luck!