Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Wonderfalls (2004)

Jaye Tyler is your not-so-average girl next door. She holds a degree from Brown University, but instead decided to work at a souvenir shop at picturesque Niagara Falls. Her reason? She wanted to live an expectation-free life. She's rude to the customers, a total bitch to her lesbian sister and frowns at everything good about the world, and yet, she's the most likable character you'll ever meet. Her 'sodes started when inanimate objects started talking to her, telling her in cryptic messages to do spontaneous things without a reason. She has no choice but do as they say or they'll bug the hell out of her by singing her ears off.

One simple act will lead to a series events that at the end makes sense to her and the person she's unknowingly helped.

This show had the rare combination of great writing, acting and directing. This is evident by the great on screen chemistry. Watch just one episode and I guarantee you'll be hooked and wanting more.

I have not laughed so hard at a TV show in weeks. Especially since I didn't expect this to be a comedy.

The dialogue is hysterical. As I'm typing, I'm rewatching the pilot. Discussing Jaye's suddenly odd behavior, her sister suggests "I think we should put her down." Her brother agrees "It is just like going to sleep."

Or when she notices the bartender's cell phone is ringing in his back pocket---

Jaye: "Your ass is ringing."
Bartender: "My ass rings a lot."
Jaye: "Have you ever thought of setting it on vibrate?
Bartender: "I'm not sure I'm secure enough with my manhood to do that."
Jaye: "So, why do you have an ass if you don't answer it?"

"Wonderfalls" may be the best show you've never seen. I will never forget it. And simply hearing a description won't do it justice. It is a delightful, candy coated television treat. An authentic expression of generation-Y looking for its place in the world and not ready when it finds them. "Wonderfalls" is another triumph for the ingeniously creative Bryan Fuller (which just may be the most talented and most unlucky writer in the business today), who seems to be the only person in the world trying to put a spark in TV. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

the second reason why this is one of my favorite series

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

How Do You Cook A Live Frog?

If you throw the live frog into a pan of boiling water the frog will hop right out, however, if you put the frog into a nice tepid pan of water and ever so slowly turn up the heat, the frog will cook before he realizes what has happened.

When most people enter a relationship, it does not appear to be toxic and often times it isn’t toxic. During the honeymoon period of a relationship, for the most part everyone plays nicely together, they even participate in each other’s events of life that they normally would have no interest or desire to be part of, however they do it for the other person. During this time, there is a newness of discovery, romantic love is in the air and we even tend to overlook or brush off what otherwise would be red flags that there could be problems with this becoming a long term loving, positive relationship. We tend to see and believe what we want to see about the other person and our relationship. Some people even consciously act differently, wear a mask of sorts, knowing that once they have the other person hooked they will slowly reveal their true self.

Most toxic relationships start out great, everything on the surface seems great, however as time passes, like the cooking of the live frog, the heat begins to be slowly turned up and things change from what appeared to be a mutually loving, positive relationship to a toxic relationship where over time one or both parties are choking on the daily toxicity of their relationship. Yet, people, even when they realize that they are in a toxic relationship often stay in the relationship and hang on for years.

There are many reasons people stay in a toxic relationship, one is that they are comfortable in their own misery, that is, yes the relationship is toxic, however I am used to it and I just don’t think I have the energy to get out of this relationship and start a new one. Another big reason is the person who wants out of the toxic relationship may have been beat down to the point where they feel that the toxic relationship is their fault or that they would not be desirable by anyone else.

I can tell you from experience why it’s so hard to leave a relationship that we have allowed to go toxic:

Leaving a toxic relationship means we are faced with ourselves, and nobody else to blame our unhappiness on. And we’re faced with the reality that only we can, and have to, solve our own problems. That’s a heavy burden. We got used to feeling secure that there will always be a someone that could carry it with us and sometimes, It’s a whole lot easier to dump our problems on someone else. Toxic relationships allow us to do that as long as we want. When we have toxic relationships with others, it means we have a toxic relationship with ourselves.

Comfort zones are also big factors. They tend to keep us in miserable relationships, since even though it might be miserable, we know how to deal with it and live with it. Change represents the great unknown for a lot of us. So I simply say:

That the unknown and unknowable are two different things.

Let me just say that you can love someone and still choose not to be with them. I hear many people say, “I stay because I because I love him/her”. If the relationship is toxic and therefore unhealthy and you cannot find away to remove the toxicity from the relationship, know that you can still love a person and make a decision to not be with them. Know that you always have options, that no one is truly stuck. Even in the darkest of hours, there are always alternatives.

If its your own situation that doesn’t seem to be working or enabling you to feel as you would like, then this is a step in your own self-growth. Do what feels right. Change something. It begins with your thoughts about what is acceptable for yourself. When you’re ready to evolve, you will. Other people will do so too.

For some, however, getting out of that toxic relationship is a shock to their system and often harder to deal with than the hell they left. That’s where they really need support. Because once they’re out of the boiling water, the realization of what they had put up with can become so overwhelming, they can beat themselves up a lot harder than the toxic individual who they had left used to do.

So if you know anyone who’s severed that kind of relationship and you think all’s wonderful in their world, stay close and supportive, not advice giving. Just be there and help them see their greatness so they can start to fly.

source: The Naked Soul