Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Finding My True North (Part 2 of 3)

I am not trying to preach or get all philosophical here but when you get to finally see things clearly and feel your connection with the universe, you'd want the world to know. Leonardo Da Vinci was right when he said, "Everything, in some way, is connected to everything else in the universe."

I guess I was first made aware of this fact when my aunt helped my mom start a small business. Though I live with my dad because he's the well-off one, I help my mom out with my two siblings' school allowance. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't afford to be jobless back then. I needed to help. But the odds have been in favor of me. My aunt's help made my hands less bounded by that responsibility.

Then there was the continuous stress build up at work, the "magic" that's been happening in the site and in a work place where the licensed and ass-kissers get all the glory, I knew It's not the garden I wanna be planted in. I wanna bloom somewhere else.

Friends who finally passed the May 2011 CE Board Exam. There was a pang of envy when I saw their Face Book walls filled with congratulations.

Of course, the climactic break-up with the boyfriend was as dramatic as ever. Lots of MMK moments. A true crowd pleaser.

And there was my dad who's been constantly bugging me to take the board exam again. All expences paid by him.

I knew he was right when he told me that I'm just a half-baked engineer without the license. I guess passing the board exam is the "ting!" an oven makes when it's done baking. But I couldn't afford not to work back then so I just shrugged it off. I took out the cookie dough before the oven could even make its sound, put it on the shelves and planned for it to be completely comsumed by the molds of fear, procrastination, lack of ambition and interest. Or until someone hungry enough to ignore its half-baked goodness and moldiness comes along to take a bite. But is anybody ever that hungry?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Finding My True North (Part 3 of 3)

So, given those opportunities, it was the best time to resign from work, battle my inner demons, review and retake the board exam. It was just all perfect. The timing. The events. The spiritual awareness. The personal growth. The professional knowledge.

But not before I resisted everything that's been happening. I guess it's human nature. Rebellion. Always going the other way. Always insisting what he wants. Not wanting to be led by something unknown. Or maybe I was just afraid of change. Afraid that after risking everything I have, I might screw it up. It was a big decision. I needed a sign.

So I tried to be better at work but just couldn't take sucking it up to the higher ups. Problems in my field are still the bitchiest. And worse, they kept on having puppies!

I tried to meet up with some guys but we really only wanted to be sucking each other's dicks. The ones that spark with me lead very complicated lives so we can't really hit it off at the moment.

I tried to do the forgive-and-forget crap with my former spark but it turned out to be far more complicated than that. So I ended up not acknowledging his presence on a get together with friends I invited him into. And him ending up on my blocked list and everyone strongly connected to him on my unfriend list.

I tried to block out my dad's constant ramblings about the board exam but he's right and he's paying, so he won over.

Then it was over. I knew exactly why I could never do all of those things. I was not supposed to. It was life telling me what I should be doing and where I should be doing it.

And so, just like the good boy I am not, I went with its flow. Not resisting even the tiniest bit.

Why Cebu?

Because it was where I wanted to be all along. I thought the decision was based on my dad's original plan of sending me here the first time around but my first day here was a revelation. A memory of my fifth grade art project came bursting into my thoughts. Drawn using oil pastel on a one-fourth sized illustration board, it was a city filled
with restaurants, malls, stores and movie houses. Then surrounding it is the deep blue sea with fishermen scattered across to experience its abundant produce. Not far away are the mountains. Green and shrouded by white clouds. It was supposed to be the place where I ideally want to live in.

When the memory faded, there I was, sitting at the back of a van my father's friend owns. Crossing the bridge from Mactan to Mandaue. Overlooking Cebu City and its neighbors. Mesmerized by the waves of blue surrounding it. Calmed by the green mountains that protect it.

I have never felt this sure about anything in my life before.

It was my sign.

Location:Biliran Rd,Cebu City,Philippines

Finding My True North (Part 1 of 3)

... or in this case, my True South.

It's been a month now since I first arrived here in the Queen City of the South to review for my board exam.

When friends ask me why, of all places, I chose to be exiled in this far flung city of Cebu when there is a plethora of civil engineering review centers proliferating in the busy streets of Manila, I just say, "I needed to escape a bitter past."

While it's not a lie, it's not the complete truth either. I just do it to give it a bit of drama and avoid long explanations. I'm never good at explanations. And I'm too lazy to give one. Three birds with one stone.

It was my failed relationship that gave me that final push to move way, waaaay down south. It was my kick-in-the-butt. And I am still bitter about that part.

Well, thinking about it, I have been following that direction my entire life. Makati. Taguig. Paranaque. Las Pinas. Muntinlupa. Laguna. Places that have chunks of my past. And now, Cebu. All to the south.

Anyways, those were just a part of a grand scheme of events that the universe set in motion to get me here.

Yes. The Universe.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Carinderia Cutie #1

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:Cebu City

Thursday, June 02, 2011

One Hot Summer Weekend

As much as I'd like to post something intellectually deep and heart warming, my review schedule just won't let me.

Yeah, I'm reviewing for my board exam here in Cebu. Why I chose to be this far south is on a later article which I promise to post probably this weekend.

Anyways, to keep you guys occupied for the moment is another eye candy from our Laguna trip with my ex-collegues last May.

This cutie was spotted in the footwear capital of Laguna, the town of Liliw.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch