Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Loss of Innocence

Before this turns into an Arts and Crafts blog, I’m gonna tell you a story about a guy I know.
This guy was truly an optimist. He prides himself of still being able to see the light no matter how many wounds his heart suffered. His heart was broken many times but he never gave up on love. He kept loving again and again like he’s never been hurt before.
Until he met J.
There was nothing really special about J except being his first boyfriend in Cebu. Just like all his relationships before, he gave it his all. Love, attention, faith and trust. In return, J introduced him to his parents and best friends. But also like his past relationships, all the good things came to an end.
The thing is, his love was too great that J couldn’t keep up. He said that he does not expect J to return the same amount he gives but that was really just a lie. Maybe he was too ashamed to admit it but he did expect it all back. And the thing about shame is that it blinds us from seeing our true selves.
Anyways, the breakup was bad, like it always is, but it did help him see things from another side of the field. I guess he figured that he was not really loving J or any of his exes, for that matter. He was just suffocating them. That his love was not great but possessive. He falls in love quickly to the persona he builds of someone and then suffers when their true self is in contrast to the fairytale he made up.
I know I did not describe it a lot in writing but the breakup with J was the hardest for him. And when we have been hurt so much, our hearts are more open to change. J was his romantic turning point.  I don’t really  know if he’s still an optimist or has become a pessimist when it comes to the matters of the heart but I do know that he has matured greatly and that his next relationship would be more beautiful than all the ones he had.
That’s if get past his newly acquired relationship phobia. Walls have been put up and doubts on people’s motives are barbed around him.
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PS: J and Him happened on the last quarter of 2012. About six months when they broke up.

4 comments:

JM said...

I can relate idol. I may not tell it directly, but the entries I made points to that direction.

Jadedness.

Blakrabit said...

Yeah. Oo nga Master. I've been out of bloggng for too long, hindi ko na alam ang mga pangyayari. Mag backread nga ako on what happened to a certain Baabaa.

kaloy said...

i've been looking for that word when love changes you - romantic turning point - could be it.

:)

ZaiZai said...

Relate na relate. I'm an optimist too, when it comes to all things. But I'm wary and always suspicious when it comes to love, thanks to failed relationships.