Friday, August 05, 2011

Jack Out of the Box

Photo from here

I know a lot of gay people who refuse to believe that gay relationships are inferior to those of heterosexual ones because they never seem to last. But who can really blame them? We were trained by society and religion with a boxed notion of right and morally acceptable set of rules to follow - and that does not include being gay and being in a relationship.

It could also be because of all the failed relationships, or lack thereof, they had in the past. Having thought of all possible explanations they could conjure in their minds on why those ended the way they have and coming up with the conclusion, but refusing to believe, that they are the ones responsible in one way or another, they cling to the notion that "gay relationships do not work" to spare themselves. For the acceptance of errors are for the courageous, humble and wise alone.

In reality, there really isn't that much of a difference between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Both go through the same problems. Infidelity, petty quarrels, jealousy, mistrust, possessiveness, incompatibility and the likes. I guess the only leverage straight relationships have is the fact that they can come out in the open and have all these social rules backing them up and guiding the relationship. Although beneficial, being put inside a box could prove to be a double edged sword for this box could easily become a prison.

Gay ones on the other hand are mostly born out of secrecy that's why whenever things go south it's easy to break things up because it's a tabboo after all, right? After basking in the good things of this "tabboo", we suddenly turn self righteous declaring that ending things is the right thing to do when bad things explode. Without the external force of the "box", there is always an easy exit. But without the box, there is freedom of the soul. You can be who you really can be. But venturing outside the confines of the social paradigms is scary for there are no rules but your rules. The guiding force for living outside the box comes solely from within you, your values, priorities, will power and strength of character. For without those, you're just like a smoke vanishing into thin air as it escapes its confinement.


DN said...

Those who lust cannot last.

- Dela Cruz v. Paras, 123 SCRA 569

Blakrabit said...

@DN: Yes, relationship based on lust is an elephant walking on thin ice. But let us remember that not all relationships are like that (hetero and homo alike). There are those that are built from promises of a partnership until the old age.

Kiks said...

the other difference too is that heteros in a relationship can eff each other until one gets pregnant...