Art Attack 2

some random made up character in water color

rough sketches

well what do you know? I draw real people!

This one's from reader's digest.

A "Golden Dragon", character from my lost comic book >_<

pencilled

The Golden Dragon Clan, yes, they have human forms.

just playing with the colors.. supposed characters for a comic book story

Vash The Stampede (unfinished.. until now hehe)

Art Attack 1

After months of hiatus, still too lazy to write something up. I'm posting some of my surviving sketches from highschool. I don't know if I've gotten better since then and I honestly think that my hands are getting rusty. Anyways, hope you guys like it. ^_^

" Hisoka" from Hunter X Hunter (got the spelling wrong LOL)

"Ginji" from GetBackers (forgot the villain's name)

MajinBoo!!!!

aaaaaw.. I miss the Ghost Fighter guys!

"Kurapika" from Hunter X Hunter (ooops! his head is too small!)

Cheri: "Tanggalin ang sumpa kay Zenki! Tatanggalin ka ng lihim na espada! SUMPA! Dakilang Vadjula, palayain mo ang alagad na si Zenki! Dakilang Vadjula, palayain mo ang alagad na si Zenki!

My version of "Diwa" (from the now defunct Culture Crash Comics' One Day Isang Diwa)

Loner

Your problem isn't that you make bad choices. It is you identify the good choices and then intentionally do the opposite.

You see, in this boorish bravado of yours is a paralyzing fear of letting anyone into your life.. and it isn't because you weren't loved as a kid. It's because you're egocentric that the love
wasn't enough.

So you pull pigtails, you push the fat kids into the dirt so no one would ignore little you. And you're so invested in this neurotic, narcissistic notion of yourself as loner that you can't quit.

And you'll keep on dumping on everyone around you until eventually, and please trust me on this, there won't be anyone left..

Wonderfalls (2004)

Jaye Tyler is your not-so-average girl next door. She holds a degree from Brown University, but instead decided to work at a souvenir shop at picturesque Niagara Falls. Her reason? She wanted to live an expectation-free life. She's rude to the customers, a total bitch to her lesbian sister and frowns at everything good about the world, and yet, she's the most likable character you'll ever meet. Her 'sodes started when inanimate objects started talking to her, telling her in cryptic messages to do spontaneous things without a reason. She has no choice but do as they say or they'll bug the hell out of her by singing her ears off.

One simple act will lead to a series events that at the end makes sense to her and the person she's unknowingly helped.


This show had the rare combination of great writing, acting and directing. This is evident by the great on screen chemistry. Watch just one episode and I guarantee you'll be hooked and wanting more.

I have not laughed so hard at a TV show in weeks. Especially since I didn't expect this to be a comedy.

The dialogue is hysterical. As I'm typing, I'm rewatching the pilot. Discussing Jaye's suddenly odd behavior, her sister suggests "I think we should put her down." Her brother agrees "It is just like going to sleep."

Or when she notices the bartender's cell phone is ringing in his back pocket---

Jaye: "Your ass is ringing."
Bartender: "My ass rings a lot."
Jaye: "Have you ever thought of setting it on vibrate?
Bartender: "I'm not sure I'm secure enough with my manhood to do that."
Jaye: "So, why do you have an ass if you don't answer it?"


"Wonderfalls" may be the best show you've never seen. I will never forget it. And simply hearing a description won't do it justice. It is a delightful, candy coated television treat. An authentic expression of generation-Y looking for its place in the world and not ready when it finds them. "Wonderfalls" is another triumph for the ingeniously creative Bryan Fuller (which just may be the most talented and most unlucky writer in the business today), who seems to be the only person in the world trying to put a spark in TV. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

the second reason why this is one of my favorite series

How Do You Cook A Live Frog?

If you throw the live frog into a pan of boiling water the frog will hop right out, however, if you put the frog into a nice tepid pan of water and ever so slowly turn up the heat, the frog will cook before he realizes what has happened.

When most people enter a relationship, it does not appear to be toxic and often times it isn’t toxic. During the honeymoon period of a relationship, for the most part everyone plays nicely together, they even participate in each other’s events of life that they normally would have no interest or desire to be part of, however they do it for the other person. During this time, there is a newness of discovery, romantic love is in the air and we even tend to overlook or brush off what otherwise would be red flags that there could be problems with this becoming a long term loving, positive relationship. We tend to see and believe what we want to see about the other person and our relationship. Some people even consciously act differently, wear a mask of sorts, knowing that once they have the other person hooked they will slowly reveal their true self.

Most toxic relationships start out great, everything on the surface seems great, however as time passes, like the cooking of the live frog, the heat begins to be slowly turned up and things change from what appeared to be a mutually loving, positive relationship to a toxic relationship where over time one or both parties are choking on the daily toxicity of their relationship. Yet, people, even when they realize that they are in a toxic relationship often stay in the relationship and hang on for years.

There are many reasons people stay in a toxic relationship, one is that they are comfortable in their own misery, that is, yes the relationship is toxic, however I am used to it and I just don’t think I have the energy to get out of this relationship and start a new one. Another big reason is the person who wants out of the toxic relationship may have been beat down to the point where they feel that the toxic relationship is their fault or that they would not be desirable by anyone else.

I can tell you from experience why it’s so hard to leave a relationship that we have allowed to go toxic:

Leaving a toxic relationship means we are faced with ourselves, and nobody else to blame our unhappiness on. And we’re faced with the reality that only we can, and have to, solve our own problems. That’s a heavy burden. We got used to feeling secure that there will always be a someone that could carry it with us and sometimes, It’s a whole lot easier to dump our problems on someone else. Toxic relationships allow us to do that as long as we want. When we have toxic relationships with others, it means we have a toxic relationship with ourselves.

Comfort zones are also big factors. They tend to keep us in miserable relationships, since even though it might be miserable, we know how to deal with it and live with it. Change represents the great unknown for a lot of us. So I simply say:

That the unknown and unknowable are two different things.

Let me just say that you can love someone and still choose not to be with them. I hear many people say, “I stay because I because I love him/her”. If the relationship is toxic and therefore unhealthy and you cannot find away to remove the toxicity from the relationship, know that you can still love a person and make a decision to not be with them. Know that you always have options, that no one is truly stuck. Even in the darkest of hours, there are always alternatives.

If its your own situation that doesn’t seem to be working or enabling you to feel as you would like, then this is a step in your own self-growth. Do what feels right. Change something. It begins with your thoughts about what is acceptable for yourself. When you’re ready to evolve, you will. Other people will do so too.

For some, however, getting out of that toxic relationship is a shock to their system and often harder to deal with than the hell they left. That’s where they really need support. Because once they’re out of the boiling water, the realization of what they had put up with can become so overwhelming, they can beat themselves up a lot harder than the toxic individual who they had left used to do.

So if you know anyone who’s severed that kind of relationship and you think all’s wonderful in their world, stay close and supportive, not advice giving. Just be there and help them see their greatness so they can start to fly.

source: The Naked Soul

The Breakup Ground Rules

I, Blakrabit, do, hereby, solemnly swear that I will not behave in the manner of a crazy ex-boyfriend. I will not participate in foolish or destructive behavior. I promise to act in a dignified fashion and that means I will not do stupid things, no matter how I might rationalize them. Therefore, I vow the following:

• I will not call him. No matter what good or bad news I think he should hear only from me, I will not call him. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him. I will not call him even to get my stuff. I'll have a friend do that, preferably via email.

• I will not email him. Not even an innocent and rather funny group email forward. I will not email him simply to give him back his stuff. I will not contact him at all.

• I will not frequent the places I know he goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I acknowledge that this is not a pissing contest about territory. I know going to such places will hurt more than it will help. Until there has been some space and time between us, going to those places is asinine, can be viewed as stalker-ish and will be painful only to me.

• I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to him when they see him in public to let him know he is a jerk and he'll never do better than me, or to share that I am looking fabulous, got a promotion, bought a new house and am dating George Clooney (or the regional equivalent thereof).

• I will screen all of my calls. I will get caller ID, if necessary, and put "private call block" on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is and am sure it's not him. All other calls will go to voicemail.

• I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.

• I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.

• I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.

I promise to abide by these vows for at least thirty (30) days, or until I have gotten over him, whichever is longer. This is about me feeling better and that has nothing to do with him.

This I do affirm. So help me.

Signed: Blakrabit
Date: June 7, 2009

Last Words for an Ex

Ewan ko kung dahil sa ulan to pero sobrang miss na kita... Parang kelan lang nung bumagyo at first eb natin.. brownout at daming puno sa daanan..

Sorry nga pala sa mga inasal ko recently, i guess I'm just not good in handling the situation.. Nauntog talaga ako dun, pero nung natauhan nako, too late na.

Pero I sincerely wanted to change for the better.. I know madami ako kasalanan at hindi ako showy sa feelings ko for you..

I just want you to know that despite my bad behaviour, I loved you more than anyone in my life, ikaw lang. I guess tama nga yung kasabihan na "we always hurt the pnes we love"..

Please don't get me wrong, hindi ako nagtext para pilitin kang makipagbalikan sakin. Clearly, kitang kita ko naman kung sino na ang mas matimbang sa puso mo. I just want to do my end of the bargain 'coz you've been very good to me..

Pero yung tungkol sa friendship natin, I'm afraid I can't give you that. I'm sorry if I can' be mature about it pero masakit lang talaga sobra..

I know you deserve better. Siguro tapos na yung chance at sinayang ko lang ang pagkakataon na yun, again, sorry.. Maybe it's time for someone to give it a try..

Magpapalit na nga pala ako ng number, I know it's selfish pero yun lang yung naisip kong paraan para edyo mabawasan yung sakit..

I can't wish you and your new giy a goodluck in your relationship, i know ang selfish ko no?, pero ang masasabi ko lang ay salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal na binigay mo sakin kahit I didn't deserve most of them and I'll always remember you..


This is B, signing off out of your life
Goodbye

The Reviewer: Nissin Cup Noodles (Seafood) 60g

I was deep in a writing mood doing a blog post but then Procrastinus attacked and I couldn't write what's on my mind the way I'm imagining it correctly anymore so I figured that I could just write a food review down. Why instant noodles? Because I could practically live on the stuff! Best. Invention. Ever!

Noodles: 5/5
Nissin noodles have always tasted great and even though it's not as good as the Japanese ones, the local variants are still packed with flovors

Soup: 3.5/5
Tastes great but MSG scratched 1.5 points off.

Toppings: 3/5
The toppings have always been what our every local noodles lack. Such a downer compared to topping-filled cup noodles from Japan.

Price: 5/5
At P20, when bought is supermarkets, this one gives you your money's worth. 3 minute cooking alone is worth all the centavos!

Trip

For the lack of something to write, here's a video I took which shows my trip from the review center to my dorm and a side trip to the super market for my lunch :D oh and this is stalker proof

warning: very amateur, wobbly and poor shots

BEYNTE SINGKO (11-20)

ONSE

2nd year highschool ako nang matutong mag commute. Maliban sa pagsakay ng tricycle mula bahay papuntang school, hindi ko na alam kung pano sumakay sa jeep/bus/etc . Hindi kasi ako pinapayahan ng nanay ko dahil baka mawala daw ako o di kaya maaksidente sa pagtawid. Kinailangan ko lang matuto bumiyahe mag-isa dahil sa paglipat ko sa bahay ng aking tatay.

DOSE

Nung bata ako, nagnakaw ako ng laruan sa dept. store. yung mga free toy sa hotdog na kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay yung Spiderman na may parachute hehehehe

TRESE

Naka weewee ako sa pants noong grade 1 ako. Ang terror kasi nung matandang dalagang teacher namin kaya natakot akong mag may-i-go-out. Ewan ko kung napansin nung seatmate ko.

KATORSE

Grade 3 naman ako nung tinuli. Grabeng iyak ko nun at tingin ko napa squirt ako ng weewee haha!

KINSE

Nung elementary dinadaya ko si Manong na nagpapalabunutan ng mga sisiw sa tapat ng school. Yun yung pipili ka ng blangkong papel at huhulaan kung anong lalabas na number. Ginagawa ko, bumibili ako ng papel tapos iuuwi ko sa bahay at saka babasain para makita ang hidden number tapos papatuyuin naman ulit. Kinabukasan kunwari bibili ng papel pero i-si-switch ko yung isa. voila! instant panalo! hehehehe

DISE-SAIS

Binansagan akong Jack of all Trades noong highschool. Kasi sa lahat ng subjects may alam ako. Idagdag pa ang extra curricular activities gaya drawing, journalism, badminton at pagiging class artist ko. Kaya lang ang totoo nyan ay ako ay Jack of all Trades but Master of None kasi most of the time kabilang lang ako sa top pero hindi mismong yung nasa Top1 huhuhuhu

DISE-SIYETE

May time na nilakad ko mula Central Terminal Station ng LRT hanggang Libertad. Walang dahilan, trip lang. Pero hanggang kinabukasan masakit pa din mga paa ko.

DISE-OTSO

Ang aking stepmom ang pinaka kinamumuhian kong nilalang. Masungit, manipulative, madada,plastik. Pero noon yun. Ngayon medyo ayos naman na ang tingin ko sa kanya kasi through the years ay nakita ko din naman kung ano ang mga nangyayari sa paligid kaya medyo naiintindihan ko kung bakit sya ganun.

DISE-NUWEBE

Gusto kong malaman kung ano na ba ang nangyari dun sa kapit bahay namin dati. Hindi ko na maalala kung teenager na ba sya noon basta ang alam ko wala pa kong muwang noong mga panahong iyon. Naalala ko lang na mahilig siyang magpakita ng birdie nya sa ibang mga bata sa lugar namin at nanghahabol ba sa gitna ng kalsada at hindi ko din alam kung may toyo ba yun o sadyang ganun ang trip nya. Gusto ko lang malaman kung naging straight ba sya paglaki nya o PLU at ano kaya naging epekto dun sa mga batang lagi nyang pinapakitaan ng birdie nya? naging mga PLU ba sila?

BEYNTE

Chickee. S'ya yung alaga kong manok nung bata pa ako. Napanalunan ko sya kay Manong. Inalagaan, pinakain at minahal hanggang mag fade ang green na artificial color nya at mapalitan ng mapuputing balahibo. Pero isang madilim na gabi, pag-uwi ko ng bahay, hindi ko marinig ang kaluskos ni Chickee sa kanyang kulungan. Kinabahan ako. Dali-dali kong tinakbo mula sa pintuan, di na pinansin ang pagkahulog ng aking bag, patungo sa kinalalagyan ng kulungan ng aking mahal na alaga para lamang malamang wala na sya doon. Umiyak ako. Maaring nakawala sya o kinain ng daga o pusa. Hindi ko na maisip kung ano pang mga posibleng kinahinatnan ng alaga ko sa sobrang lungkot. Pumasok na ako sa bahay pagkatapos pulutin ang aking bag. "Ma, wala na si Chickee.", agad na sumbong ko sa nanay na sumalubong sa akin. "Wag ka na malungkot 'nak, bili na lang ulit tayo ng sisiw.", tugon nya na may pakikiramay. "Wag mo na muna isipin yun. Maghapunan ka na muna 'nak, niluto ko yung paborito mo... tinolang manok". Sabay isang malakas na hagulhol! huhuhu

BEYNTE SINGKO (1-10)

UNO

19 years old ako nang magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na makipag EB sa mga chatmates ko online at hindi din nagtagal bago sumunod ang mga SEB na yan... oo maaga akong lumanid hehehe

DOS

Isa akong illegitimate child.. ako ang unang anak pero hindi nag work-out ang relationship ng aking mga magulang kaya nauwi sa hiwalayan, yun nga lang they were never married kaya ganun. Ngayon, kapwa na sila may mga pamilya.

TRES

Naka-sex ko ang asawa ng kapatid ng step mom ko, na technically ay uncle ko. May ilang ulit ding nangyari 'yun noong sa bahay pa siya tumutuloy pero ako na mismo ang umayaw dahil medyo ka-close ko ang asawa nya. Nagkikita pa naman kami ngayon at parang wala lang nangyari, civil lang kumbaga.

KWATRO

Naranasan ko na ding mabilang sa isang foursome... pero hindi ko din kinaya at nanuod na lang ko.

SINGKO

Dalawang beses naman sa threesome. Ang unang threesome ay kasama si EX#1 at EX#2 (na noong mga panahong yun ay ang aking current SO). Sumunod naman ay sa isang couple na naghahanap ng third wheel.

SAIS

Meron akong dalawang pilat na galing sa kagat ng aso. Isa sa binti at sa kanang kamay. Naalala ko pa kung gaana kalaki ang karayom na ginamit sa injection ko for rabbies.

SIETE

Nadiskubre ko ang masturbation nuong bakasyon nang 2nd year ko sa highschool. Gawa ng sobrang libog, walang humpay kong hinimas si junior hanggang sa ako'y labasan. Take note, hindi ko alam na yun na pala ang tinatawag na ejaculation at natakot pa akong tingnan kung ano ang lumabas kasi akala ko dugo. Onga pala, may kasama nga pala akong nung gabing yun sa kwarto, babae, yung kasambahay namin dati.

OTSO

Naglakbay ako mula Manila papuntang Batangas para lang makipag EB! At siya si EX#2.

NUEBE

Nung 1st year HS, dumating sa punto na naglalakad na lang ako papuntang school. Kapos kami noon dahil sa sakit ng lola ko. Nung time na 'yun isinisi ko kay lola lahat. Nagalit ako sa kanya. Pero nung nawala na sya, sobrang hagulhol ako. Yun siguro ang pinaka matinding nagawa kong pagkakamali na hanggang ngayon pinagsisisihan ko pa :(

DIYES

Edito-in-Chief sa school publication, Journalism Contests, Poster and Slogan Making Contests, Spelling Bee, Top 10, Quarterly Honors, Science Quiz Bee, Scholarship Eligibility... yan ang mga napanalunan at mga achievements ko noong elementary at highschool... ewan ko ba kung anong nangyari sa akin ngayong college, wapak! ako huhuhuhu...


saka na muna yung iba hehehe isip-isip pa...

Master Procrastinator

THE RABBIT IS BACK!

Woah! I can't believe that the last I've been here to post was about two and a half years ago. You know those feelings you get when you just got home from a very long vacation and your house is all dusty and webby(is that even a word?)? Yep! Those happy-nostalgic-familiar feelings... I'm totally having them right now.

Actually, there have been a thousand attemps to ressurect this darkly lit blog of mine. Every new year, every birthday and every week-long vacations preceding my last posts have been full of intentions but being a Master Procrastinator, it's my duty to defer those thoughts until the need to free some space on my pending list. Although those attempts weren't all that unproductive since I've changed this blog's design template for a couple of times in an earlier resurrection attempt. I even deleted all of those naughty posts on my archive along with my very own customized template (and reverted back to the default template which I wished I haven't).

But now, here I am tapping my keyboard loudly and trying my best not to commit any grammatical and spelling errors and forcing myself to finish this comeback post.

It's very nostalgic reading all my posts from the beginning and memories just flooded my head. I've been laughing at all my crappy lines. I guess that I was as stupid back then as any teenagers.

-became the stupidest person just for the sake of someone I loved (or was infatuated with?)
-casual sex
-been obsessed with the notion that I had to have someone just to feel complete
-chat rooms, personals sites
-RPGs and Online Games
-smoking

Yeah, I guess that was basically me 2 and 1/2 years ago.

It was nice to know that in the span of that time, I did grow up to be a better me