I don't exactly remember who they were but I know that there have been deaths of relatives of people I know earlier this year. I think one was an ex-officemate's and some from casual acquaintances.
It didn't really occur to me back then until there have been a few deaths from my relatives as well.
A second degree aunt. An aunt. A second degree step uncle. A step uncle. A sister.
A fuck buddy's niece. A good friends lolo. A new friend's lolo. An ex officemate's lolo.
All of which are just a few weeks or months apart.
The year haven't even ended and yet I've known and witnessed more deaths than any human being is allowed to bear. I try to shrug this off, but now I fear for the sick ones that I know.
I've only talked to one friend about this but I was saddened by his reaction.
"Naku! Sana hindi ako yung sumunod! Marami pa akong gustong gawin sa buhay!"
I know he meant it as a joke but I could smell fear from his words. He seemed to actually believe that I was like this bringer of death that wrecks havoc to the lives of people around him. I hope it was not the reason why a supposed gang get together was not pushed hard enough into fruition. It's very laughable. Especially when he talks openly about me being just as part of his family as all his blood kins are. But I can't really blame him. Superstitions run deeply in our blood. Especially when we think our lives are at stake. I guess I'd be expecting some "friends" to suddenly want nothing to do with me when they know about this too.
I'm not really the superstitious type but it just unnerves me to be surrounded by this many deaths. I can't explain it either. Coincidence? Omen? Am I just just more aware of deaths now than before? I don't know.
Now I feel such a freak.
photo from here