Friday, September 07, 2012
The Third Option
"You picked the wrong guy!" I angrily shouted.
Before getting his keys out, he turned around, surprised to hear my voice. "Please, Mak."
"You picked the wrong guy." I repeated with heavy breathing. "You made a really, really bad choice."
And with my will no longer able to contain my emotions, I barraged him with fiery words like a dragon so intent in destroying a small village. "What were you thinking!? That guy?! The one who you always had a fight with!? The one who dropped you like a hot potato?! Are you kidding me?! Have you learned nothing about the last six years you were together!?"
He was about to open his mouth and try to talk but I didn't give him the chance. I didn't give him the chance because I know that the second I hear his voice, I'll be under his spell again and the wall of anger I tried so hard to build will just crumble the second my eyes meet his. I won't let him weaken me again so I just let every words that I've been pushing down crawl out of my lips. "You're just gonna regret this. You know that, right? You're going to regret this! And then there's nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do is get up there and start you're crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could have with me."
"Goodbye." and with all those emotions finally out, I turned my back and walked.
"Mak, wait." He said softly. His voice shaking with regret.
My words hit him. If we had this confrontation three days ago, his words would've melted my heart. But everything I had was just drawn out already. I was doing this for myself. "Look, Ching, I am not here to win you. I'm here because I need to know that you know that you made the biggest mistake of your life."
Realizing that everything I said was true and that he's already waist deep on his own quicksand, he helplessly accepted his fate. "I know."
"Good." I mustered the last bit of my fake courage and anger just to say that word. It was a good thing I already turned my back. All the show I have put up would've been a flop if he saw my glassy eyes and the tears that have welled up, ready to trickle down my cheeks.
That was the scene I have rehearsed a hundred times in my mind while following him to his place.
After weeks of avoing him and building up anger, I accidentally saw him after eating and decided to finally confront him.
But then his phone rang. It was his "Teddy Bear". His eyes got more chinky as his cheeks move up to accommodate a big smile. The dimple at the right side of his lips was too proud to show itself. And with a few throws of his head back as he laughs, he went inside his house.
He was happy.
And then it all just went away. That was it. In that moment I wasn't angry anymore. I could see that Ching was meant to be with another guy.
Sometimes, you think that the only choice is to swallow your anger or throw it into someone else's face, but there's a third option. You could let it go.
And only when you do that is it really gone and you could move forward.
And that, guys, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story.
It just wasn't mine.
Mine's still out there.
Waiting for me.
based on HIMYM