Thursday, September 15, 2011

Ang Lalaki sa Buhay ni Chekwa


Photo from here



Kung kelan nakita mo na siya.

Ang dream guy mo.

Chinito.

Maputi.

Walang kabahid-bahid.

Walang arte.

Koboy.

Hahalikan ka kahit kaka-yosi mo lang.

Yayakapin ka kahit pawisan ka.

Inaalalayan ka habang bumababa ng hagdan.

Gusto lagi kang ka-text.

Kausap.

Kasama.

Nandun ka sa future plans nya.

Kahit na tigasin eh nilalambing ka.

Kaya lang..

Wala pa silang closure ng girlfriend nya.

May board exam ka pang dapat i-prioritize.

At nasa malayong lugar ka.

Syet!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Friday, September 09, 2011

Bad Boyfriends



Photo from here

I know we've all had our share of these jerks. I just thought I'd categorize each one of them from my past experiences. Also, if anyone of you are realizing that your partner or you are one of these Bad Boyfriend, you know what to do. edit 9/17/11 Before anyone reacts (or after since it took me days to add this disclaimer), I'm not saying that I'm the poster child for good boyfriends nor have these past guys been totally jerks. We all have bad boyfriends inside of us. It just sucks to find yourself with one who is more inclined to be one. For all you know I could be one in the list.



The Politician

These types are really annoying. Tulad ng mga politiko, ang hilig nilang mag tayo ng billboards tuwing may projects sila. Kasehodang pag fill lang ng isang lubak sa daan, go sa pag lagay ng billboard na mas mahal pa yata ang pagpapa print kesa sa actual project. Whenever these guys do something for you, they make sure you don't forget all their struggles and hardships doing that deed. Even if it is just as simple as accompanying you to the jeepney stop from their houses. Like they just did you a favor. I mean, WTH, aren't they supposed to do that because they are your partners? Including a bunch of other stuffs? Isn't that one of the perks of being in a relationship? Feeling loved and protected without them shoving it in your face?

The Better Half

Literally the better half or atleast they think they are. Ito yung mga partners na tingin nila sa sarili nila ay mas mataas sayo. They think they are smarter than you, good looking than you or more successful than you. Heck, they even think others are better than you! They always contradict, second think or put aside your opinions and ideas like it is as natural to them as breathing. Automatic na. Pero kapag ibang tao ang nag present sakanya ng mga 'yun, agree to the max naman kaagad ang lola! Mahilig din silang makipag "diskusyunan" sayo about some things. Intelligent debate daw. Pero ang totoo they just want to tell you that they are right and you're wrong. Since sila yung mga taong nakatanim sa utak nila na tama sila. Kahit na mas may alam ka. Clearly, they don't trust your voice in the relationship. Better drop this SOAB down the sink hole where he belongs and find someone who appreciates and lifts you up. You deserve that.

The Accountant

Tulad ng Politician, mahilig din itong ipamukha sayo ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman kailangan pang ipamukha sayo. Unless, of course, they don't really love you that much. Pero nag specialize ang mga ito sa pagbibilang. Pagbibilang lahat ng mga mali mo. These types are awesome, in a twisted way. Grabe ang memory. Yung tipong tandang tanda pa ang pagkakamali mo 2 years ago at bilang bilang kung ilan na lahat ng utang mo from the day you bacame official up to the present. Are these guys keeping a tally book or are they just mentally gifted for remembering your faults? Super convenient nga ang skills nila everytime na may arguements. I-re-recite sayo lahat ng mga pagkukulang mo. Pero ang nakakatawa, parang may amnesia sila sa lahat ng mga bagay na nagawa mong tama. Haaaaay.

The Gravedigger

Like the Accountant, these guys are very talented but they specialize in remembering all your faults when there is an argument. Yung tipong kapag may away, hinahalungkat pati yung mga past sa rifts ninyong dalawa na akala mo ay nabaon na sa lupa dahil nagka sabihan at nagka tanggapan na ng sincere na "I'm sorry." at nag make-up sex na kayo. Pero kapag sumiklab na naman ang mga petty arguments, naghuhukay na naman siya. Kahit wala ka namang ginawa para i-compromise ang "forgive and forget" scenes nyo before, be rest assured that he'll unearth it again and pile it on top of the other dead bodies in front of you. So mas OK na siya nalang ibaon mo. Sa limot. Next!

to be continued

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Labels

Gay ka or Bi?

Huh? Anong klaseng tanong yan? And more importantly, does it matter?

Oo naman. Bi kasi ako at medyo naiilang ako kasama mga gay.

Tulad ng sabi ko, does it matter? Ang bading ay pumatatol sa kapwa lalaki. Ang bisexual, sa parehong lalaki at babae. So ano
Ang common ground nila? Parehas silang pumapatol sa kaparehas nila ng kasarian.


Eh kasi..

Eh kasi baka ang ibig mong sabihin effemenate ba ako or straight acting?

Ah parang ganun nga. So ano ka?

Well, to answer your original question, yes, I am gay. And for someone who calls himself bisexual, I can say that I am, in many ways, more than capable of carrying that label.

Excuse me. Hindi po ako halata.

Hindi ka halatang ano? Gay or Bi? Haha! See? Ikaw mismo nalilito sa mga labels mo.

Ah, bading ka nga. Ang daldal mo eh.

At ikaw hindi? Kung di ka halata, ano ako? Straight? Madaldal ako kasi mas marami akong alam kesa sayo. You are obviously misinformed and you lack knowledge kaya di mo ma-defend sarili mo. Saka please, stop that bisexual shit. Or that discreet crap.

Bisexual po ako. I don't know kung bakit di mo mapaniwalaan and honestly, I don't care about what you think! I've had sex with both men and women.

Ang tanong, ilang babae at ilang lalaki? Baka 1:100 ang ratio mo! Haha! Saka sex? Like that's a good indicator of sexuality. Walang pinipili ang taong libog na libog. Narinig mo na ba kung gano kalamya boses mo? Napansin mo ba kung gaano ka ka-gay wearing those purple pants, black sando topped with a gray off shoulder knitted jacket and white rimmed sunglasses? Feeling Korean? Saka teh, foundation day? Oh, and a cabinet filled with bottles of anti-aging, whitening and other beautification creams? Yeah right.

Huh? LOL! Narinig mo na ba yung term na metrosexual? Ikaw pala tong walang alam eh.

Metrosexual bordering transvestite? LOL!

Che!

Kenfeeeeeermd!



Photo from here
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Death is Your Gift

I have noticed for a time now that deaths have been happening around me a lot. Yes, I know that people die everyday but these people are personally or somehow connected to me.

I don't exactly remember who they were but I know that there have been deaths of relatives of people I know earlier this year. I think one was an ex-officemate's and some from casual acquaintances.

It didn't really occur to me back then until there have been a few deaths from my relatives as well.

A second degree aunt. An aunt. A second degree step uncle. A step uncle. A sister.

A fuck buddy's niece. A good friends lolo. A new friend's lolo. An ex officemate's lolo.

All of which are just a few weeks or months apart.

The year haven't even ended and yet I've known and witnessed more deaths than any human being is allowed to bear. I try to shrug this off, but now I fear for the sick ones that I know.

I've only talked to one friend about this but I was saddened by his reaction.

"Naku! Sana hindi ako yung sumunod! Marami pa akong gustong gawin sa buhay!"

I know he meant it as a joke but I could smell fear from his words. He seemed to actually believe that I was like this bringer of death that wrecks havoc to the lives of people around him. I hope it was not the reason why a supposed gang get together was not pushed hard enough into fruition. It's very laughable. Especially when he talks openly about me being just as part of his family as all his blood kins are. But I can't really blame him. Superstitions run deeply in our blood. Especially when we think our lives are at stake. I guess I'd  be expecting some "friends" to suddenly want nothing to do with me when they know about this too.

I'm not really the superstitious type but it just unnerves me to be surrounded by this many deaths. I can't explain it either. Coincidence? Omen? Am I just just more aware of deaths now than before? I don't know.

Now I feel such a freak.


photo from here

Monday, September 05, 2011

Video Scandal

Wala lang.

Gusto ko lang magpaka-controversial.

Magpaka-daring.

Mang-titillate ng inyong senses.

Be prepared, guys.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Cebu Pasalubong: Tabo-an Market Adventure

If you're a first timer in Cebu and is wondering where to buy pasalubong for you're relatives back in your hometown or somewhere across the oceans, Tabo-an Market is the place.

Well, it is actually a one stop pasalubong shop for having delicacies ranging from otap, rosquillos, chicharon, bottled bagoong of different kinds, dried mangoes and anythig you can think of when you think of Cebu. Okay, except for lechon.

But what Tabo-an Market is really famous for are the dried fish stores that abound the area with the sought after pasalubong, danggit (rabbit fish), as its flag bearer




Photo from Penfires!

There are many ways to go to Tabo-an Market and it is easier if you know where Colon and Sanciangko streets are or know how to get there. Anyways, you can hail jeepneys with signs and route numbers such as Guadalupe 06A (which passes in front of San Jose Recolletos University), Lahug 04D (passes Cebu Colliseum) or if you're from SM Cebu, you can ride a 10H jeepney. Or anything with Carbon or Tabo-an signages, but ask the driver first, to be sure. All of which goes to or near the market. You'll know if you're near the vicinity when you see a short bridge (don't worry, you'll pass only one). If the jeep does not cross that bridge and turns left, just shout lugar lang or if you're feeling polite, lugar lang, 'ya (cebuano for para and para po manong). Of course, it's more convenient riding a cab but where's the adventure in that?

Jeepney tips are from Penfires!

Being adventurous myself and having my boarding house near Colon and Sanciangko and being armed with only researched knowledge from the internet and having only memorized the area from my map, I decided to walk my way to Tabo-an Market. Oh, if you own a map of Cebu like me, please don't bring it with you or publicly consult it when navigating the streets. Trust me. You don't wanna look too tourist-y.

I took the Sanciangko Street because it is a more direct route compared to Colon. Just follow the street going south and after probably 10-15 minutes (I used University of San Carlos as my benchmark here), you'll see the bridge that I was talking about. Cross it and you're already there! You are now looking at Tabo-an Market! And with that, take a deep breath and smell the air! Turn right from the fork (two roads going left and one going right) because that's where most of the dried goods are. Look for the Tabo-an Dried Fish Dealers Ass'n, Inc. signage. Start there.



Photo from www.pinoyislands.com

I went there at around 7AM to avoid a horde of pasalubong buyers but I guess it was too early since some stalls were just opening and some haven't opened yet. I guess 8AM would be the best time to go there. Nevertheless, even with some closed stores, the variety of dried fish and pasalubong overwhelmed me.



Photo from www.pinoyislands.com

As suggested by other bloggers, I only wore pambahay clothes. That's because the smell of dried fishes there is very strong, it clings to you and your clothes. And that is not an exaggeration.




Photo from www.pinoyislands.com





Photo from Baktin Corporation

I was looking for Nang Aying's stall (as recommended by Baktin Corporation) but I guess she haven't opened yet so I just bought from the nearest open stall. I bought the small, gill-less, unsalted ones (washed with fresh water or tubig tab-ang) because I heard that those are the best ones. Easy to crispy fry and less salty. It was sold at P540.00 per kilo. A far cry from the the P100+ per 100 grams you see in supermarkets and airport kiosks. I bought half a kilo and asked the crew to seal them into five 100 gram packs for easier distribution to friends and relatives.



There are also dried squids, fish bones, fish tocino and others that I don't know the names. I was on a budget so I opted not to ask for their prices. I was only there for two things, danggit and the mango chews.




Yes, mango chews. Well, they're pretty much the same as "the" dried mangoes only without the fibers. Mango chews are basically mango puree mixed with gelatin to be of the same consistency as dried mangoes. They look and taste the same that it could easily be mistaken as the real ones. Believe me. I was fooled big time once. How to tell the difference? Well dried mangoes are fibrous so check if your purchase have hints of fibers in them. Also, mango chews have uniform shape and size (shaped like a mango leaf) and at closer inspection, you can see trapped air bubbles inside. There are those with brands that you see in super markets but I guess their prices, if not just some pesos cheaper, are more or less the same. I was after those unbranded ones which are way cheaper. Okay, they maybe unbranded and packed on clear plastic but I'm pretty sure they are legit. They must have come direct from the factory just by seeing how it was neatly packed and marked with an expiration date in the corner (definitely machine packed and labeled). The tindera told me that the mangoes are distributed by the same guys from 7D Dried Mangoes.



It really pays well to check some stores first before buying. I found out that there could be a P30 difference for a kilo of mango chews from two stores that are just beside each other. I bought one kilo for P350.00 and asked them to repack it into four 250gram packs. The only factory packed are the one kilos. The store just repacks them into 250 and 500 gram denominations so that buyers are presented with different options but I insisted on them repacking my one kilo just to be sure. The other store beside have them for just P320.00 but does not do repackings that's why I bought from the latter. Also, there are these mango chips (about one fourth the size of ordinary mango chews) that are about P50-P100 cheaper but were out of stock. I guess they sell pretty fast because of it's cheaper and bite sized.

It also helps if you have a local with you to do the talking and haggling. I'm pretty sure that the price I got are "haggle-able" but I'm never really good at haggling so I didn't try. Try to also visit some stores before buying to know where the best prices are. One rule of the thumb is that prices on well established stores (located in front of Tabo-an Market, just across the street) are higher because of higher rent and more people tending their spacious stores. Also, the price of dried fishes fluctuates. It depends if there's a full moon and catch is small or if there are festivities like Sinulog.

Equipped with just a handful of cebuano vocabulary, I tried my very best to speak like a local but I think the tinderas I talked to found my bisaya (trying)hard and just spoke to me directly in Tagalog. I was actually laughing at myself when I came out of the store. So much for my local disguise.

Anyways, mission accomplished! Ready for the airport!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Monday, August 29, 2011

Bridges and a Funeral (Part 1 of 2)

She has been fighting cancer for 3 years. Lymphoma. Her health was a rollercoaster ride for all of us. One day doctors and lab results tell us she's getting better, then some months after, she's back in chemo and radiation.

Although felt and showed differently, I know my sister's passing was a shock to all of us. I used to think that when you get used to having a sick relative for so long, the time that they succumb to their illnesses would have been the time that you've subconsciously (or consciously) prepared for halfway their sick lives.

I guess reality really is a lot of shades darker than theory. You always think you know how a certain situation would turnout because you have ran them through a thousand times in your head with logical simulations. But it catches you by the tail when it actually happens because you lack one important data. Emotion. Actual emotion. And kicking them out from the equation would throw your chart way off because, well, you don't really know how you would exactly react on things until they're in front of you. Just like how the old saying goes.

Not crying when I learned about my sister's death made me shame myself but I knew it was not the case when I took it all in during the wake. Well, okay, I didn't really cry. I just got teary eyed (the worst would be a tear nearly escaping my lower eyelashes).
I realized I was rejecting the idea. I kept my sadness in check. Breathing deeply and blinking fast whenever emotions are about to flood, tears start to well up and lumps start to block my throat. That was the part of me who didn't want to bee seen as less than a man by crying and sobbing. Especially when all the clan have gathered on that occasion. I was purposely preventing my thoughts into venturing deeper in my heart to fish out emotions. I kept it in the shallows of just knowing the facts. My sister died. We mourn. We socialize.



Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dear Diary (Part 1 of 2)

August 07, 2011 (Sunday)

Dear Diary,

For the past weeks palagi nalang sumusulpot sa isip ko si Ex#5. Ewan ko ba. Maybe it's from listening too much of Papa Jack's radio show. Then today a friend told me some news about him. It's good to hear he's starting to do something good about his life but was afraid of hearing more than that. I realized that his effect on me still lingers in one of the deepest recesses of my mind. Coming out only when I thought I shrugged it all off when I came here and spent months of self discovery. Sabi nga sakin ng friend na yun, "Ang bitter bitter muna!". Maybe. Maybe not. But that made me regret the follow up text message I sent him. I'm going back to Manila for a one week break this September. Should I avoid crossing paths with him to not disrupt my healing process or should I look fear straight in the eyes and face him to conquer my weakness and be freed of this emotional attachment? Does he want to see me at all? Ugh! Just when I thought my Adele listening days are over!

(EDIT: 08/21/'11 Napaaga ang pagkikita namin ni Ex#5 and naging ok naman na kami. It turned out na wala naman palang dapat ika-worry.)





August 08, 2011 (Monday)

Dear Diary,

Exam namin ngayon sa Geotech. I only had one day to study kaya nose bleed and drama ko. It wasn't hard. May mga topics lang akong di naisama sa cramped study time na binigay ko sa sarili ko. I'll have to be ready next time.

On a lighter note, araw yata ngayon ng mga adik text messages na tulad ng mga 'to.

Texter#1: Low ev,bei

(Yes. Hindi ko din maintindihan kung ano ibig nyang sabihin but my common sense roughly translated it to mean "Hello. Good evening, bai." Is this the next plague to short message sending after the Jejemon Text?

Texter#2: Ano mas murang cake? Red Ribon or Goldy Lucks?

Okay, Red Ribon I can forgive, but Goldy Lucks?!? WTH?! I replied with, "Goldy Lucks". I can only imagine how he felt when he went to buy the cake and saw the store's name.

On a naughty note naman (puro notes? why, of course! I love notes!), later that evening, Goldy Lucks got lucky. After a month of drought, I finally went on a (sex)date again. I later learned that Goldy Lucks has a doctorate degree in Philosophy and Social Sciences and some Education stuffs and also an english major to boot (he showed me his resume and let me read it). It left me wondering. That much education and no sense of correct spelling? I did ask him why he asked about the cakes to get some reaction. He was oblivious. It was a good thing he's so good looking and manly. Okay, okay, maybe I'll cut him some slack for being a busy person who just came back from Singapore last month.

Now, I know this is the part everyone reading is excited about. Yes, we had sex. It was awkward though. Our background music are gospel songs and it was hard enough getting my dick associated with a new mouth. It only got harder listening to people sing "I love you, Jesus." while grinding.




Photo from here.

August 09, 2011 (Tuesday)

Dear Diary,

Hindi ako nakauwi sa boarding house kagabi kasi dun nako pinatulog ni Goldy Lucks sa bahay niya. Masyado lang siyang too-much-information. Revealing personal stuffs too easily to a total stranger and from what I could make up from his stories, he seem to be someone of high stature, was married and has two kids. We talked a great length until he asked me, "Gusto mo ba ako?". He paused a while to wait for my reply. His question was too demanding. Of course I like him.. enough to have a tryst with him but I couldn't just tell him that was all. It could hurt my chance for a second helping of the carnal experience we shared last night. Realizing that I'm having a hard time thinking for something to say, he continued, "Gusto kasi kita." Right. Like that statement made it easier for me to come up with a good line. It strained my mind that I was sure my face was making contortotions like I was constipated. I glued a smile and showed some teeth and prepared to say something but was not sure what. While my mind was battling with its own whether to be honest or to sugar coat, I heard myself blurt out an "Eh?". Realizing how stupid that sounded, I followed it up with "Ang bilis bilis mo naman kasi. First meeting palang natin. Hindi pa natin kilala ang isa't isa." While those words parted my lips, I was sure I heard someone make a snide comment at the back of my mind, 'Oo nga. First time and then sex agad. Haha!'. and then someone retorts with 'Eh kaya nga sexdate eh!' Anyways, he was fast to say na, "Nakakaadik ka kasi." Phew! It was a relief that is was just that shallow. I couldn't afford to be in a relationship in my current emotional state and in this current time.

We got out of bed at 9:30AM. He told me to wait while he prepares for work. We parted ways in front of his office building. While ascending a flight of stairs, he made some gestures and mouthed some words to me but not having worn my eyeglasses, I could not see what he was trying to say.

I was late for the morning class (8:00Am) so I just decided to sleep some hours off and attend the 1:00PM class.

Later that afternoon, I learned that Kent (one of my crushes in our boarding house) moved to another dormitory. Ang sad lang. Hindi ko na siya nakikita araw-araw. Hindi ko na siya natititigan ng matagal. Hindi ko na masisilayaan ang smile niya, na kahit may sungki, ay cute at nagpapakilig sa akin. Haaay. Ang landi ko lang.

August 10, 2011 (Wednesday)

Dear Diary,

Alam mo, nakakainis. The scores of our mid Pre Board Exam was posted today and my heart sank. Ako ang pinaka mababa sa aming grupo and at the bottom 30% of the class! Dinah, who's the slowest in our group, bested me by 15%. People have been asking me kung ano nangyari kasi karamihan sa kanila sa akin nagtatanong about the lessons. I felt like a fraud. Well, I could only blame myself. Masyado akong confident at stubborn at tamad at puro kalandian ang inaatupag. Time to get serious.

It's also a good thing na malapit ko nang matapos ang Shaman's Crossing ni Robin Hobbs. Naadik ako. It has been eating up a lot of my study time since I started reading it last Sunday. Hindi siya katulad nung huli kong nabasa na "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" by Seth Grahame-Smith ) (which was a bore, IMHO)at "Kapitan Sino" ni Bob Ong (this one's a gem!) na natatapos ko sa loob ng saktong isang linggo bawat isa dahil kaya kong tiisin na hindi sila mabasa. When it comes to Shaman's Crossing, I couldn't resist. It was the longest book I've read pero I read it the shortest. I was suddenly alarmed. Baka matulad 'to sa comic book collection ko na I had no choice but to delete kasi I couldn't stop reading. And since malapit ko na nga siyang matapos, I'm giving myself just that and then won't read the sequel unless it's a Sunday (rest day from study). I don't want get into a situation where I'm forced to destroy my book collection. I'm a geek that way.

Sinisingil na nga pala ako dito sa boarding house but I couldn't pay yet. I loaned a big chunk of my allowance to Tina last week for a family emergency. It was a good call that time para maforce akong magtipid and she promised to pay within this week. Yun nga lang, isang malaking fail. She only managed to pay me 30% of what she owed me. Just enough to get me through the week. Well, I don't really need the money now and I know our land lady is understanding enough to let me pay the rent on Monday so it was not a big deal for me. But it made me wonder. Was it wise to have agreed so easily for her to just pay some amount today and the remaining next week which is totally out of the context of our deal's conditions? Could it instill in her mind that I always have money readily available to be loaned and that I don't need it that much to think that it's ok to pay late? I thought about my landlady and asked myself if that was what I was exactly doing to her. Haizt.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Dear Diary (Part 2 of 2)

August 11, 2011 (Thursday)

Dear Diary,

Wala kaming class today pero may special employment examination sa review center ang DASH Engineering. It's a Japanese subsidized design firm dealing mostly with plant and ship building. I learned that most of their projects are petro chemical plants. Sila ang manufacturer ng mga raw materials for making plastic. Habang dini-discuss yun nung general manager ng company, parang nag dalawang isip ako. I asked myself if I'm willing to work for people responsible in making those filth that kills the planet. Ayan, heto na naman ako sa mga self righteous thoughts ko. Naalala ko lang din that I had the same feeling back in my last work in Laguna. It was a housing project. Class B town houses built over rice fields. Ayun. I had that realization when I was inspecting a unit and when I turned to the window, I saw Mt. Makiling with all her glory. The remaining ricefields surrounded her like peasants worshipping a goddess. I felt dread knowing that in a couple of years, those serene ricefields will become subdivisions made of cold concrete. And I was helping in setting the destruction of such a beautiful world in action. And sad lang.

Back to the examination. I was expecting some IQ and personality tests, which were what I was accustomed to answer in employment exams like this, but it turned out to be all technical stuffs. There were some basic maths, which was too basic that I had a hard time answering, and designs. It wasn't that hard because most of them were tackled in review and some are common sense problems. I think I have a good chance in passing, then I only have to worry about the interview with the four Japanese heads and the general manager himself. If I pass then I have secured a good job that does not require passing the board exam. Of course there's my moral doubts but it could be a good fall back. Though I don't think of it that much and take it seriously because my mission is to pass the board exam this November 2011.

Talking about the board exam, may exam nga pala kami sa Hydraulics tomorrow! Study time!






August 12, 2011 (Friday)

Dear Diary,

Grabe puyat kagabi! I slept past 3:00 AM na and woke up around 7:00 AM. Ayoko nang manyari yung nangyari sa past exams ko sa review center. Nakakahiya. Kaya ayun, todo aral and I'm proud to say na I've answered every last questions! Yebah! I'm expecting a 100% score pero there could be +-5% margin of error just in case I shaded the wrong boxes kasi time na nung nag shading na ako ng answer sheets. Worst case na ang 95%. But I'm confident in my answers and it feels good. I hope to keep my future exams that way. And with that, I'm giving myself the permission to start reading the sequel to Shaman's Crossing, "Forest Mage". Excited!


'Nga pala, Tina has been talking about this group of cebu bloggers that promotes their product (Enjoy Phillippines) and I asked her if I could write for them (para may lireng priviledge kit! Haha!). Sabi niya okay daw na idea yun (siyempre hindi ko sinabing may blog ako. sabi ko lang mahilig ako magsulat) and will call the group. Pero kailangan ko munang magregister to this site na nakalimutan ko na. Tanong ko nalang sakanya mamayang dinner since sa weekends pa din naman ako makakapag internet.

Sleep mode muna. Kailangan mag recharge.






August 13, 2011 (Saturday)

Ang Saturday ng review namin ay nakalaan sa group studies about the previous weekly exam. Having confidence in my scores, I didn't feel the need to attend. I slept the morning off.

Kagigising ko lang and was doing some light reading when my father called me, which he usually does to check up on me. But that wasn't his intention this time.

"Wala na si Kim."
He was trying to be calm, as it was his training in the army under times of crises, but his voice was full of sadness.

"'Di nga Pa?"
It was a stupid question. I knew my father would not joke about his childrens' death, much more about my little sister's, who's been struggling from the clutches lymphoma for three years. But it was all I could muster, given the difficulty of the situation.

There was silence. I knew our minds were both denying that my sister just died and accepting the fact that she just did.

"Kelan Pa?"

"Kanina lang. Umuwi ka na dito. I'll send you your ticket" This time, emotions were too great that his soldier's calm is on the verge of collapsing. He had to hang up.

When I heard the news from my father, I felt nothing. No rushing of blood in the head. No upset stomach. No jelly knees. No cold sweats. No tears. It felt just like someone told me a bad joke that does not deserve any recognition. Could it be that my mind was rejecting the idea of my little sister passing away? Or was it just having a hard time digesting the news? Was it the fact that I'm always away and far from home and had little time of interaction with my siblings that their death has no impact in my emotions? Or did I have such a stone heart that I could not be sad for what happened? But I loved my little sister. I know I did. And I was ashamed that I did not feel grief. I hated myself for it.

I flew home to Manila at 4AM the next day.











Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Cebu Cutie : Carinderia Hunk

Spotted in a carinderia near University of San Carlos. Yumminess!
































**disclaimer : I only post these photos of guys because I find them goodlooking. This is not, in any way, meant to put these guys in bad light. I don't know them personally. If there are any violent reactions or complaints against the photos, just let me know and I'll take them out. Cheers!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:Cebu City

Angel & Devil

Note: this entry if from weeks ago.

I'm a doodler. Which means that whenever I have a pen or pencil in hand, I tend to doodle on any surface possible. That's why I easily get distracted in class while taking notes :(

This one's drawn at the back cover of my review manual while studying for an exam later! See? This is clearly me being distracted again!

Anyways, I just figured why not make something out of these random sketches and post it whenever I'm having a frustrated writer's block. :P

Back to studying!







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Monday, August 15, 2011

I Heart Papa Jack

note: this is a dated post


Ever since Mommy (a fellow reviewee) and Tina (Mommy's boardmate) told me about the infamous Papa Jack and his crazy pieces of love advice, I've been addicted to his radio show ever since. Tuning in every 9:00 PM on Love Radio (97.9 here in Cebu and I can imagine some of you cringe) while studying, even my roommates have become instant fans of his show and after a few nights of having crazy laughs while listening in, the TLC: True Love Conversations virus have spread through the whole second floor of our boarding house. (note: the second floor is the guys's floor)

So, how the hell could an entire floor of male civil engineering reviewees (about 20 guys, okay, so there's a +- 15% margin for the pink sheeps among the herd, such as I, who would actually love to listen to a love advice show like this ) got hooked in listening to a radio show about feelings, relationship, love and all those mushy stuffs that come with it? Simple. Every caller that seeks Papa Jack's advice gets dished out when they really need to get dished out in a no-sugar-coating, no-non-sense, straight-to-the-point and in-your-face kind of way and it's really funny hearing Papa Jack scold them (sometimes I wonder why they still get lots of calls despite the fact that most of them callers get their asses kicked, figuratively of course) on-air but at the end of every conversations he always manages to whip out words that make a lot of sense which I mostly agree with. That every scorching hot comments he dishes out at you are necessarily evils to banish those emotional fogs that cloud your judgment. It also is a damn good laugh inducer!

I believe that I'm speaking for the rest of the guys here, despite me playing on the other team, that we may make fun of the callers (even more if it's a guy that gets all cry-baby on-air)and what they go through the hands of Papa Jack but deep inside we can relate to those people brave enough to call and learn a great deal about love, relationship and being a partner during the process.

So if you are bored and don't have anything to do, do not mind a mix of oldies and pang masa OPM love songs, a constant laughing sound effect throughout the show, wants to get a good laugh and learn a lot then do check out this radio program and I promise you won't be disappointed.

True Love Conversations
Weekdays
9:00PM-2:00AM
97.9 Love Radio







Here's Papa Jack when no DJ-ing

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Kimberly

"Golden Heart"

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

Copyright © 1997 Therese Williamson





Goodbye little sister. Your memories will always be with us.

:(



Photo from here

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Friday, August 05, 2011

Jack Out of the Box




Photo from here

I know a lot of gay people who refuse to believe that gay relationships are inferior to those of heterosexual ones because they never seem to last. But who can really blame them? We were trained by society and religion with a boxed notion of right and morally acceptable set of rules to follow - and that does not include being gay and being in a relationship.

It could also be because of all the failed relationships, or lack thereof, they had in the past. Having thought of all possible explanations they could conjure in their minds on why those ended the way they have and coming up with the conclusion, but refusing to believe, that they are the ones responsible in one way or another, they cling to the notion that "gay relationships do not work" to spare themselves. For the acceptance of errors are for the courageous, humble and wise alone.

In reality, there really isn't that much of a difference between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Both go through the same problems. Infidelity, petty quarrels, jealousy, mistrust, possessiveness, incompatibility and the likes. I guess the only leverage straight relationships have is the fact that they can come out in the open and have all these social rules backing them up and guiding the relationship. Although beneficial, being put inside a box could prove to be a double edged sword for this box could easily become a prison.

Gay ones on the other hand are mostly born out of secrecy that's why whenever things go south it's easy to break things up because it's a tabboo after all, right? After basking in the good things of this "tabboo", we suddenly turn self righteous declaring that ending things is the right thing to do when bad things explode. Without the external force of the "box", there is always an easy exit. But without the box, there is freedom of the soul. You can be who you really can be. But venturing outside the confines of the social paradigms is scary for there are no rules but your rules. The guiding force for living outside the box comes solely from within you, your values, priorities, will power and strength of character. For without those, you're just like a smoke vanishing into thin air as it escapes its confinement.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Tadhana



Sa hindi inaasahang
Pag-tatagpo ng mga mundo
May minsan lang na nag-dugtong
Damang dama na ang ugong nito

'Di pa ba sapat
Ang sakit at lahat
Na hinding hindi ko
Ipararanas sayo?
Ibinubunyag ka
Ng iyong matang
Sumisigaw ng pagsinta

Ba't 'di pa patulan
Ang pagsuyong nagkulang?
Tayong umaasang
Hilaga't kanluran
Ikaw ang hantungan
At bilang kanlungan mo
Ako ang sasagip sayo

Saan nga ba patungo?
Nakayapak at nahihiwagaan
Ang bagyo ng tadhana
Ay dinadala ako
Sa init ng bisig mo

Ba't 'di pa sabihin
Ang hindi mo maamin?
Ipauubaya nalang ba 'to sa hangin?
'Wag mong ikatakot
Ang bulong ng damdamin mo
Naririto akong nakikinig sayo

Ba’t ‘di salubungin
Ang puso ko at kunin?
Ang diwang malaya
Huwag na huwag magpabaya pa
Ikaw ang pag-ibig
Pakinggan ang himig ko
Wala na sanang lalayo
Mundong ito ay hihinto...


-Tadhana, Up Dharma Down



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hesperioidea

Confirmed!

Hindi pa naman pala ako nag devolve into a society-pressured-and-brain-washed-gay-turned-straight-guy-daw like what I have written in my previous post. Pa-effect lang pala yun!

But seriously, Cebu has this certain effect on me. Or it could just be the fact na malayo ako sa lahat ng pwedeng gumulo sa isip ko at hindi crazily fast paced and buhay dito, giving me time to discover who I really am and be aware of all my thoughts.

It could also be the people around me. It's a humbling experience na makasalamuha ang mga tao from all sorts of walks of life. May mga may kaya. May mga super tipid para magkasya ang allowance na P1,000 a month. May mga workaholic. Mga nagbabagong buhay. Mga simpleng probinsyano. May mga pursigido. Mga relihiyoso. Conservative. Wild. May mga may itsura. Meron ding di pa nauuso ang mga beauty ngayong 21st century. Mga Muslim. Christian. Ilocano. Cebuano. Bicolano. Davaoeno. Surigaonon. Waray. Ilonggo.

Everyone has their own inspiring stories to tell na talagang mapapabilib ka. Parang nag marathon ka lang ng one year worth of episodes ng Maalaala mo Kaya habang nakikipag kwentuhan. Yung tipong pang teleserye ang mga buhay. It really happens pala talaga. (Syet! I'm so coño!)

Everyone starts off as strangers pero somehow, amidst all those differences, maganda ang pakikisama ng lahat and away from all the glitz, glamour, fast pace and superficiality of city life, I realized that there are things bigger than me and my own little drama club at hindi lahat nasusukat sa kung ilan na ang FB friends mo, kung anong generation ang iPhone mo, ilan ang gaming consoles mo
na pang display lang, kotse, mga bansang napuntahan, gaano kadami ang bote ng anti-aging creams mo, gaano kalaki ang sahod mo at gaano ka kadalas mag night-out. People I've met here are people who have strived hard to survive. People who're so full of dreams, it overflows and infects every veins in your body. May mga taong mas malaki pa ang problema at napagdaanan sa buhay kesa sa akin pero ang lakas ng fighting spirit. Very overwhelming talaga ang experience knowing and being surrounded by these kind of people.

It made me feel more alive and as I learned the lessons about their life stories, I learned so much more about mine.

They are my cocoon.







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Paradigm Shift

I deleted all my scratching post contacts.

I turn my head to girls passing by and give them a hot-or-not stare.

I'm having girl crushes.

Daydreams about having a girlfriend.. and having sex.

Attends a weekly Men's Group that talks about how to be a real man and - gasp! - the bible

And now I've been reading Sex & Love Guide for Men on how to satisfy girls for days now.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Cebu Cutie: Fully Geeked

Spotted on Fully Booked, Ayala Center browsing the shelves of sci-fi novels.. my kind of geek!





















**disclaimer : I only post these photos of guys because I find them goodlooking. This is not, in any way, meant to put these guys in bad light. I don't know them personally. If there are any violent reactions or complaints against the photos, just let me know and I'll take them out. Cheers!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:Biliran Rd,Cebu City,Philippines

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Cebu Cutie : Colored Balls

Spotted somewhere in the heart of (Blakrabit? lol) Cebu City is this super cute chinito guy! Gotta love'em FilChi's!



















**disclaimer : I only post these photos of guys because I find them goodlooking. This is not, in any way, meant to put these guys in bad light. I don't know them personally. If there are any violent reactions or complaints against the photos, just let me know and I'll take them out. Cheers!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Finding My True North (Part 2 of 3)


I am not trying to preach or get all philosophical here but when you get to finally see things clearly and feel your connection with the universe, you'd want the world to know. Leonardo Da Vinci was right when he said, "Everything, in some way, is connected to everything else in the universe."

I guess I was first made aware of this fact when my aunt helped my mom start a small business. Though I live with my dad because he's the well-off one, I help my mom out with my two siblings' school allowance. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't afford to be jobless back then. I needed to help. But the odds have been in favor of me. My aunt's help made my hands less bounded by that responsibility.

Then there was the continuous stress build up at work, the "magic" that's been happening in the site and in a work place where the licensed and ass-kissers get all the glory, I knew It's not the garden I wanna be planted in. I wanna bloom somewhere else.

Friends who finally passed the May 2011 CE Board Exam. There was a pang of envy when I saw their Face Book walls filled with congratulations.

Of course, the climactic break-up with the boyfriend was as dramatic as ever. Lots of MMK moments. A true crowd pleaser.

And there was my dad who's been constantly bugging me to take the board exam again. All expences paid by him.

I knew he was right when he told me that I'm just a half-baked engineer without the license. I guess passing the board exam is the "ting!" an oven makes when it's done baking. But I couldn't afford not to work back then so I just shrugged it off. I took out the cookie dough before the oven could even make its sound, put it on the shelves and planned for it to be completely comsumed by the molds of fear, procrastination, lack of ambition and interest. Or until someone hungry enough to ignore its half-baked goodness and moldiness comes along to take a bite. But is anybody ever that hungry?